


Nanny To The Supreme Leader

by TatianaRen92



Category: Kylo Ren - Fandom, Star Wars
Genre: BDSM, Begging, Boss - Freeform, Degradation, Dom - Freeform, F/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Submissive, nanny - Freeform, sub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:55:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26771776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TatianaRen92/pseuds/TatianaRen92
Summary: After Rey took Kylo Ren's hand and joined the dark side becoming his Empress, she became pregnant but passed away during childbirth just as Kylo Ren's grandmother had. Over the past few years, finding and keeping a nanny has been almost impossible. The Supreme Leader had a temper and nobody lived up to his expectations, that is until he hired you. New to the First Order, you were already nervous about how you'd fare there but now that you have been appointed the nanny for the most feared man in the galaxy, the pressure is on and so is the heat as you find yourself growing more and more entranced by him.This is a slightly slow burn 18+ book that will include the following themes:•D/s relations•Violence•Talks of deathI'll add more as I continue writing and will add trigger warnings to the top of each chapter. Also, know that I'm not really trying to follow everything about the Star Wars universe so there will be plenty of creative liberties taken.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	1. First Day Jitters

### First Day Jitters

###  Your adrenaline was at an all time high as you stepped off the transport ship onto the Star destroyer you would now call home. As you adjusted your pencil skirt you heard someone call your name. A short woman with a salt and pepper bun on top of her head and an impatient facial expression was standing by the door glaring at you as if you had somehow inconvenienced her. You quickly walked over to her almost tripping on your heels. Damn these stupid shoes. "You are Miss y/n, correct?" She asked sizing you up. "Um, yes...yes ma'am I am. Are you the coordinator I am supposed to meet with?" "Yes. We were supposed to meet 5 minutes ago. You are late. Not a very good impression. Follow me." You cursed at yourself internally. Great first impression. You needed a good job. There were a few openings for child care on the Star destroyer ranging from a lower salary to a higher one depending on the family and their rank. You were hoping to at least get a storm trooper family. The wage was modest but enough to live on without having to get a second job or struggle too much. The coordinator was walking very fast for a person who was so short. You strode past a few storm troopers and MSE-6 droids down an impeccably sterile looking hallway and through a door leading to a small office piled with storage cabinets and a metal desk. "Sit. My name is Mide Berav. I am the head coordinator here and am in charge of job placements. I understand you are looking for a job in childcare, correct?" Mide watched as you adjusted in your chair eyeing you like you were the last person she'd want to be talking to right now. "Yes, that is correct. I noticed that their were a few openings when I was searching on-" "Yes, yes. There are quite a few but there is one in particular that is quite urgent that you will need to start right away." "Oh?" You weren't expecting to start so soon. You were hoping to get acclimated to your new environment first. You didn't even know where your room was yet. "Yes. The Supreme Leader's nanny has...passed away and he is wanting someone to start right away." The way Mide said "passed away" made you gulp. The stories you had heard about the Supreme Leader were terrifying especially after his wife, Empress Rey Ren, died five years ago during childbirth. He was the most feared man in the galaxy. Could you really take on this job? "Um, I wasn't expecting something so um-" "Prestigious? Of course you weren't but the job needs to be filled and it just so happens you are here in time to fill it...even if you were late." Mide's eyes softened just a bit as she looked over at your nervous expression. "You are qualified for this, Miss y/n. You'll do just fine." The softness left as quickly as it came. "Now, you are to report to the Supreme Leader's corders immediately. He is expecting you. Here is your data pad with directions on how to get there. Any more questions?" You had a dozen questions swirling through your head but Mide's expression showed you that you could probably only get away with one. "Where is my room located?" "You will be staying with the Supreme Leader and his sons of course. Now get moving. He is not a very patient man." You didn't have to be told twice. You wanted to live past your first day. Living in the same corders as the Supreme Leader? Fear coursed through your veins at the thought. Surely he is a busy man though and won't be there most of the time. That's why he needs a nanny anyway, right? You looked at the map on your data pad and sped to your destination. The Supreme Leader's corders were at the far end of the ship. As you got closer, things seemed darker and less busy as the rest of the ship. People probably steered clear of this area. As you turned the corner you saw the door, but what made you jump back was the two darkly clad guards standing on either side of the door. One was holding a large club with a blunt, studded end and the other was equipped with what appeared to be a scythe. Both guards wore black helmets so you couldn't see their faces but you assumed they were staring directly at you wondering if they should tear you limb from limb or not. You cautiously walked forward, gripping firmly onto your data pad. With all the courage you could muster, you addressed the guards. "Um. Hi there. I'm...umm-" "Your name is um?" the man with the scythe seemed almost amused at your obvious nervousness. He cocked his head to the side in feigned confusion. "No, no. I'm-" "Your Master Ren's new nanny. We know. I was just messing with you. We were told you'd be coming." "Oh. Okay." You breathed a sigh of relief because you didn't have to explain who you were or deal with any interrogation. The man with the club opened the door and allowed you to walk in. The room was massive. You didn't expect something so big on this ship but what should you have expected for the Supreme Leader? The tall walls were all black except for the wall of windows on the other side of the room giving you a stunning view of the stars. Sleek, black leather chairs and a sofa were positioned in front of a large plasma screen tv that was hanging over a large fireplace. You couldn't imagine someone as intimidating as your new boss sitting in front of the tv but you expected it was probably more so for the boys. Speaking of which, you noticed how there wasn't a single toy or a sign that kids lived here at all in this living room. The floor looked freshly polished and everything was impeccably tidy. You wanted to explore more of it but you didn't know what was expected of you. Would the Supreme Leader meet you here in the living room? Were you expected to sit and wait for him or were you expected to go to him? You really didn't want to mess this up. Mide's words came to you again: "The Supreme Leader's nanny has...passed away" This caused you to shudder. You REALLY didn't want to mess this up. Just then you heard a booming voice from down the hall. "Are you going to stand in there all day or are you going to meet me in my office to be briefed?" Shit! You scurried down the hall to where the booming synthesized voice came from and walked through the door trying your best not to look as scared as you felt but you were sure you looked scared shitless as soon as your eyes landed on the man sitting at the desk. He was wearing a dark helmet and dressed in all black similar to the men standing outside. You wondered what his facial expression was right now. You imagined he was glaring at you due to his tone when he called you in there. You hastily took a seat across from him. Unsure of what to do with your hands, you continued to grip onto your data pad with probably too much force. You two sat there in silence for what felt like forever but was probably only a minute. He seemed to be studying you probably wondering if you were even fit for this job. You decided to woman up and break the silence. You took a deep breath and stuck out your hand. "Hello. I'm y/n. It's a pleasure to meet you." The Supreme Leader looked down at your hand for a moment and then back to your face. When it was clear he wasn't going to shake it, you put your arm back down and tried to figure out what to say next. "I'm...I'm excited to meet your sons. Are they here?" "They are in class right now but will be done shortly. Have you been informed of what your duties will be here?" His voice sounded curt but you weren't sure if that was just because of the modifier on his helmet or if he really was just that way. "All I was told was that you needed someone to start right away watching your two sons and that it was a live in position." You shifted in your chair worried that you had missed something Mide had briefed you on due to your initial shock. Was there something else expected of you? "Yes. You are to take care of Sion and Corr as if your life depends on it." Yikes. It seemed like it did depend on it. "You are to take them to their classes and training, escort them back home, cook their meals and clean up after them. They have a strict schedule that you are expected to adhere to." He paused as he opened up his data pad and pushed a few buttons. Your data pad lit up with a notification from Kylo Ren. You wondered if you could call him that or if was too informal. You decided to stick to Supreme Leader just to be safe. "You have Saturdays off but you are to stay on call in case something comes up. Sion and Corr typically spend that day at one of their friend's homes and get picked up the following morning." It was so weird to you how normal this all sounded. You had imagined the Supreme Leader as a vicious warrior but not as a father. It was odd hearing this intimidating man discuss his children's schedule. "Do you understand?" You realized you had kind of spaced out for a second. Hopefully you didn't miss anything else he said. "Yes. Yes, I understand, Supreme Leader." "Good. Your room is down this hall. It's the last door on the left. Your personal items were delivered there earlier. That is all." You practically jumped out of your chair, beyond ready to get out of there and be able to breathe again. The hallway was long and just as sterile looking as the rest of the ship. You passed by an open door on the right where you saw two children's beds on either side of the room. Each had a fairly large trunk at the foot of them with toys in them. It made you smile knowing that the kids actually had toys despite the lack of evidence in the rest of the home. The room actually looked like your idea of the perfect children's room. What it lacked in bright color it made up for in character. There were posters on the wall with cartoon characters smiling widely and a book shelf in between the beds with a plethora of children stories. You continued your journey down the hallway toward your room passing by a bathroom on the way that you figured was the boy's bathroom and now yours as well. You reached the end of the hallway and noticed not only the door you were looking for but a larger door on the adjacent wall. Was that Kylo Ren's room? It made you feel uneasy knowing that your room was so close to his. Would he be able to hear you when you were in there? You entered your room and were taken aback by the size of it. You expected some small little guest room with a twin sized bed, not a large room with a king sized canopy bed. The bedding was a crisp white which paired well with basically everything else being black. There was even a small black table with a black leather chair situated in the corner of the room that looked perfect for sipping your morning coffee or writing letters to your best friend Tika. There was a private bathroom with a glass shower and a glass bowl sink. You were relieved that you weren't going to be sharing a bathroom with the boys. Little boys can be particularly gross. You looked down at your data pad to review the schedule again. You had to pick them up from school in a few minutes so you decided to clean yourself up some and head out. As you walked down the hallway you could hear Kylo Ren's voice yelling on the phone to some poor soul. The door was closed and you quickly scurried past it not wanting to be seen or heard by him especially while he was this angry. You exited the door and jumped again at the sight of the two guards standing directly outside the door. You had forgotten that they were even there. The man with the scythe seemed to let out a light chuckle but the other man stood as still as ever. "Sorry. I forgot you were there. I was just on my way to pick up Corr and Sion." You weren't sure how much you should talk to them. You just felt the need to explain your presence. "We know. I am accompanying you. Let's go." Scythe man began to walk ahead of you in large strides. "Oh. Um, I didn't get to introduce myself to you and since we will be working for the same family, I probably should. My name is y/n." "Vicrul." His response was straight and to the point but it didn't seem as curt as Kylo Ren had been. You continued the rest of your walk in silence wondering what the sons of the Supreme Leader would be like. Would they be as serious as their father? After a few more minutes of walking, you had made it to the schooling section on the Star Destroyer. You noticed immediately how much more colorful and cheerful this section looked than the rest of the ship. You could hear the sound of young children laughing and playing and teachers talking gently to them. You had wanted to become a teacher when you were younger but you weren't able to afford classes at a college on your home planet so you had decided to do the next best thing and work in childcare. You loved children and hoped that one day you'd be able to have some of your own. Vicrul put his scythe down momentarily and began to remove his mask. With a light hissing sound it came off and revealed his face. His shockingly handsome face. This man was actually attractive! He had dirty blond hair that he swept back with his hand to avoid it getting in his bright green eyes which you noticed were now looking at you while you stood there gawking. A playful smirk tugged at his lips. "Are you going to just stand there staring at me or are you going to get the kids?" You averted your gaze and opened the door to the classroom you were told Corr and Sion were in with Vicrul right behind you. The teacher looked up and tensed at the sight of the large man now holding his weapon over his shoulder but two young boys came running over towards him. Both boys had dark black hair, pale skin and hazel eyes. They were adorable. It made you wonder what their father looked like. "Vic! Look at this picture I drew! It's got all of my favorite knights on it! See?" Vicrul crouched down to get closer to the boy. You turned your face toward the other boy who was eyeing you suspiciously. He walked over to Vicrul and whispered in his ear loud enough for you to hear him asking who you are. "This is your new nanny, y/n. Y/n, this is Sion and this is Corr." So Corr was the shy one. You hoped you would be able to get him to be less shy around you as time went on. "Hi Sion. Hi Corr. I am really happy to be meeting you! We are going to have so much fun together!" Sion bounded over to you and showed you his picture. "Do you like my drawing?" You looked at it closely. It definitely looked like a five year old drew it but you could tell there were three knights standing near what looked like the Supreme Leader and Sion. "It's lovely! Is that your dad?" "Yup! I like this nanny, Vic. Can we keep her?" Vicrul chuckled and looked up at you. "We'll see." And with that simple phrase, you were reminded how complicated this job would really would be. 

### *Author Note* I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! This is my first Kylo Ren story and first story I have put on AO3 (still trying to figure it out so it may look messy) so I am excited and nervous about the feedback. Remember this is a slow burn but I promise that the 🔥 🔥 🔥 will be coming soon. I will update at least once a week but maybe more 😉.


	2. Capabilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting to know Sion and Corr more, you feel a little more relaxed about the job but then you finally see Kylo Ren’s face. How will you react to finding out that your new boss is actually HOT?

You arrived back to your new home with Corr, Sion and Vicrul in tow. Vicrul playfully mussed both boys' hair eliciting giggles from them both and then returned to his post by the door. 

As soon as you opened the door, the boys bursted in and headed directly to Kylo Ren's office. 

Sion ran right to where he was sitting seemingly preoccupied with something on his data pad.   
"Dad! Dad! Look what I drew today!"  
"Mmhm." He barely turned his helmeted head toward the picture but if Sion noticed, you couldn't tell.   
"Do you like it?"  
"Yes, yes." The irritation in his modified voice was evident. "Miss Y/N, can't you see I am busy? Surely you are capable of entertaining Sion and Corr somewhere that isn't my private office or are you already proving your incompetence?"  
His words brought back the fear you felt earlier. You thought that he would be less harsh when his sons were around but here he was being his typical abrasive self. 

"I'm so sorry, Supreme Leader. I thought you'd want to see them when they came home."  
"If that was what I wanted, I would have sought them out myself. Keep them occupied elsewhere. Mrs. Baize should be here shortly to prepare dinner." 

You wanted to ask him more questions about who Mrs. Baize was but thought it might make his irritation toward you rise further so you decided against it. You quickly lead the boys out of the office and headed towards their bedroom.   
"Who is Mrs. Baize"  
Corr looked up at you with a faint smile on his face. "She is our chef. She is really nice. Sometimes she even brings us tepasi taffy that she makes at home and sneaks them to us after dinner."  
You were taken aback by Corr actually admitting this to you since he had been so shy earlier. It made you smile and you let out a small laugh at the thought of the boys sneaking taffy under the Supreme Leader's nose.   
"Well in that case, I am looking forward to meeting her. She sounds like a fun woman."  
"I hope she brings us some today! They are so yummy!" Sion said as he went over to his toy chest and began setting up some stormtrooper figurines.  
"Wanna play battle with us?"  
"I'd love to." You sat with folded legs down on the ground next to Sion where Corr sat down at the same time.   
"Last we left off the stormtroopers were invading Ajan Kloss, working their way through the forest destroying everything in their path." Corr seemed really excited at the thought of battle. You should've expected as much given who his father was and what he has been surrounded by since birth.   
"Okay. Sounds...fun." You went along with the boys play holding a stormtrooper in your hand and enthusiastically running alongside their figurines making little pew pew sounds along the way. 

This went on for about half an hour before you heard the front door open and some rustling in the kitchen.   
"I'm going to go introduce myself to Mrs. Baize. Will you two be okay here on your own for a few minutes?"  
"Yup!" The boys chimed in unison still distracted with the battle scene they had before them. 

You stood up and made your way over to the kitchen hoping that since the boys said she was nice, that maybe you'd have a potential friend in the house that was older than five. 

When you reached the kitchen, you saw a plump woman who looked like she might have been in her sixties setting up some ingredients on the counter. She looked up at you with a warm smile and introduced herself, wiping her hands on her apron before extending it to you.   
"I'm Mrs. Airen Baize. You must be the boy's new nanny. Nice to meet you." You noticed the wrinkles near her eyes that formed over time due to smiling and instantly felt like she would be a kind woman.   
"Nice to meet you too. The boys speak highly of you." You lowered your voice a bit. "They told me you make delicious taffy."  
Mrs. Baize let out a roar of laughter. "Yes. I can't resist spoiling those two. They are just the sweetest so they deserve some sweets from time to time. Just don't let Mr. Ren find out. It can be a secret between us four."  
You chuckled. "Of course. I just hope I'm able to try them myself sometime."   
Mrs. Baize winked at you and went back to getting dinner prepared. 

You watched as she combined spinach, apples, fennel, sage, salt and pepper and blended it to a paste that she spread over the puffer pig and rolled it into a spiral so elegantly. Then she placed them in the oven.   
"Is there anything I can do to help?"  
"Oh no, dear. Don't worry. I'm just going to chop up some veggies and cook them up. Dinner should be ready in about twenty-five minutes. Mr. Ren likes to have dinner promptly at six o'clock, so make sure the boys are all cleaned up and at the table by then. I wouldn't want him to fire you on your first day."  
"Fire? He seems like he'd do much more than fire me."   
You had intended for it to come out in a joking like tone but Mrs. Baize could sense your nervousness. She reached out and placed a hand over yours. "I can understand your worries but I promise, Mr. Ren isn't always so scary. There is a kind man underneath that helmet even if you can only get glimpses of it at a time. Just do your best to follow his rules and you will see."  
You found it kind of hard to believe that the man who, even though you'd only had two brief interactions with, scared the life out of you could be capable of kindness but Mrs. Baize had known him longer than you so you nodded your head and gave her a small, slightly hopeful smile and excused yourself to go get the boys ready for dinner. 

-

As you took your seat at the table alongside Sion and Corr, you heard loud, heavy footsteps coming around the corner from the hallway. Your air suddenly left your lungs as in walked the most beautiful man you had ever seen. He didn't even look human. He looked like he had been carved from stone. You took in his wavy raven hair, hazel eyes and prominent nose. There were dark dots peppered amongst his face drawing your eyes across his skin. There was a scar going from above his right eyebrow going down to his broad chest that would normally make someone less attractive but somehow you found it extremely enticing. His eyes met yours and it felt like he was reading your mind. His expression changed to something you couldn't quite put your finger on but then he looked away as Mrs. Baize began setting the stuffed puffer pig and assorted vegetables on the table. He sat down at the head of the table and acknowledged Mrs. Baize.   
"This looks wonderful Mrs. Baize. Thank you."  
"Oh it is my pleasure, sir. Would you like anything to drink?"  
"Some whiskey would be nice. Would you like some?"  
At first it didn't register that he was speaking to you so you sat there like a dummy for a few seconds just staring at him.   
"Oh! Um, me?"  
"Did you think I was offering it to Corr?"  
"No. Uh, no thank you. It probably isn't wise to drink on the job."  
"Nonsense. At least have a glass of wine. I always put the kids to bed so there isn't any more duties for you to attend to today."  
"Well, if you insist. Thank you." You briefly pictured him putting the kids to bed. After seeing how dismissive he was with them earlier today, you imagined it was a quick and distant affair. You had only known Corr and Sion for a few hours but the thought of him being unloving towards them made you feel a little angry and protective.  
"Are you sure I shouldn't put them to bed? You seemed to have had a stressful day."  
Kylo Ren sipped at his glass of whiskey raising an eyebrow toward you. Maybe you should've been quiet. You probably shouldn't have been talking much to begin with. As your glass of wine was placed in front of you, he spoke.   
"This is our routine. Hopefully you will come to realize that routine here is sacred. The only time I won't be personally attending to their bedtimes is if I am not on the ship. Is that clear?"  
Although his tone was fairly calm, you felt like if you said anything other than the "Yes Supreme Leader" that passed your lips that this dinner would go south really quick. 

-

The rest of the dinner had gone by with no issues. The food was delicious and the wine allowed you to relax some as did the whiskey for Kylo Ren. He asked the boys about their day and discussed their training plans for the following day. Apparently five year olds had to learn hand to hand combat. Corr seemed excited discussing it, drinking in everything his father was telling him while Sion looked bored. 

When you had finished your food, Mrs. Baize collected everyone's dishes and began taking them to the sink.   
"Do you need any help? I could help you dry them." Really you just wanted something to do that didn't involve either being scared shitless of Kylo Ren or ogling him across the table.   
"Sure, sweetie. Thank you."  
You two got into a rhythm quickly. Her washing and you drying, stacking the clean dishes neatly on the counter since you weren't sure where they went. 

Kylo Ren and the boys walked by you on their way to get ready for bed.   
"Goodnight Miss Y/N!" The boys said to you cheerfully in unison.   
Sion stopped for a second smiling at you. "Today was fun! I'm happy you are our nanny. See you tomorrow, right?"  
Kylo Ren spoke up before you could respond. "Yes you will. Now let's get you ready for bed. You have school in the morning." He looked over at you with that expression from earlier touching his eyes and then disappeared around the corner.

"Well, that wasn't so bad, was it? Your first day I mean." Mrs. Baize was putting the dishes away in the cabinets looking over her shoulder at you.   
"I suppose it could've been worse. Your cooking was the highlight of my day though. Thank you. I'm not used to home cooked meals. Didn't really get many where I grew up."  
"I'm sorry to hear that but I'm happy you will be getting more home cooked meals from this point forward. I'll even bring some taffy for you and the boys tomorrow."  
You giggled and a yawn escaped you.   
"You better be off to bed. I'm sure some rest is definitely necessary after the day you've had."  
"Definitely. Have a goodnight Mrs.Baize. I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Goodnight to you as well."

Walking to your room, you heard laughter coming from Corr and Sion's room but it wasn't just them laughing. You peaked through the slightly ajar door to see Kylo Ren tickling them both and laughing along deeply with them as they tried to no avail to escape him. You watched in awe, having to stop your jaw from dropping as the most feared man in the galaxy was genuinely laughing and smiling. The sight touched your heart. You didn't think he was capable of being a normal father to his sons let alone a fun one. He seemed like he'd be a hard ass with them like he was with mostly everyone else. 

"Okay, okay." Kylo Ren caught his breath still smiling. "Time to settle down and get some sleep. You have training with me and Trudgen after school tomorrow so you will need all of your strength." The boys got into their beds and pulled up their covers as Kylo Ren flipped on a night light that projected stars onto the ceiling and walls. He began to turn toward the door so you quickly started walking away so he didn't know you had just been watching him be so sweet and vulnerable. You didn't think he'd be happy if he found out.   
"Goodnight Corr. Goodnight Sion. Sweet dreams my little warriors." At that you heard the door click closed and he began walking to his room in the same direction you were walking in to get to your own. His long legs made him almost catch up to you in no time at all. You barely made it to your door first and as you were closing it, he stopped it with his foot looking down at you. "The boys seem to like you. Hopefully you don't mess things up."  
Ah, there was Mr. Hard Ass.   
"They are delightful. I don't intend to disappoint, Supreme Leader."  
He stood there for more than a beat, just looking at you while you took in how close he was to you. He was so close that you could smell him. His smell was warm and woody with a hint of whiskey from earlier. It was intoxicating.   
Kylo Ren cleared his throat, bringing you back to reality. "Be sure to look over tomorrow's schedule. I sent it over. Mrs. Baize leaves lunch for the boys in the fridge. Don't forget to pack it for them. Goodnight." He didn't wait for you to reply before he quickly took his foot out of the door and opened his own.  
"Goodnight then." You rolled your eyes and closed your door feeling exhausted and confused. Who is the real Kylo Ren? The hard ass or the sweet father?

-

The next morning went off without a hitch. You packed Corr and Sion's lunches and were accompanied once again by Vicrul to drop them off to their classroom. You didn't have any other duties to attend to but you were still tired from the whirlwind of a day you had the day prior so you decided to have a lazy day in your room watching tv and writing a letter to your friend Tikka, filling her in on your first day and giving her the address for her to write you back. Sealing your letter, you looked at your data pad and realized it was almost time to pick the kids up. They went directly to training after their classes so you'd be picking them up in the gym. You threw on a zip up hoodie over your black tank top and some black pants and made your way out the door. This time you had no escort. The knights weren't even at the door. You figured they were there all time but it seemed like they were only there when Kylo Ren and his sons were present. 

It took you some time to navigate through the seemingly endless halls that lead to the gym. Luckily you figured you'd have trouble getting there so you left a little early. You had quite the knack for getting lost so you knew better than to take chances with the time. 

You managed to arrive to the gym just in time making your way towards the back where the training room was located. You opened the door to find Kylo Ren shirtless and glistening with perspiration. Holy stars this man just keeps getting hotter! His chiseled body was littered with battle scars making him look even more rugged. You watched as he flung the stick in hand toward his knight explaining the technique to his sons who were out of breath but paying close attention. His muscles tensed and rippled with every motion as he glided across the floor completely in his element. You took your lower lip in between your teeth watching his every move and thinking about how strong he was. Your mind started to wander to how his muscles would feel underneath your hands. How easily he could pick you up and pin you against a wall. You started to get lost in the thought. 

All of the sudden he was looking at you with an amused look on his face. "Ah, Miss Y/N. You are exactly on time. I knew I sensed you in the room."  
That snapped you out of your dirty thoughts "Sensed?"  
"Of course. I am Force sensitive after all. Surely you've been aware of that."  
The boys turned their attention over to Trudgen asking him about his weapon. A large vibe cleaver that you thought was terrifying but they seemed to think it was the coolest thing since sliced Mustafarian lava buns.   
"Yes. I'm just not fully knowledgable about Force capabilities. Ive never met someone to discuss it with."  
"Well," he started to walk toward you causing your heart rate to speed up. You glanced behind him where everyone was talking and packing up completely unaware of him closing in on you. "I'm sure you'll come to learn exactly what 'capabilities' I am capable of. For example, I know you were watching me-" His voice lowered and he leaned in closer to whisper in your ear. "And I know you liked what you saw."  
Oh no. He couldn't possibly have known what you were thinking could he?  
"Your more naughty than you look, princess. Thinking about your boss like that." His gaze lowered to your chest that was heaving up and down as your breath quickened and then up to your mouth where you were biting your lip again. He took a step back looking satisfied at your flustered face. You didn't know what to say. Your brain was trying to process everything he had just said to you. Did he just call you princess or was your mind playing tricks on you? 

"Alright! We are all set, dad!" Sion said waving over at the two of you. "I wonder what Mrs. Baize is making tonight. I am so hungry that I could probably eat more than a Wookie."  
Kylo Ren broke his attention from you over to his sons and Trudgen. "I have business to attend to so I won't be joining you for dinner and I won't be back before bedtime so Miss Y/N here will be in charge of bedtime today." He looked back over at you. "I'm sure you don't mind since you wanted to do that yesterday, right Miss Y/N?" You fought through the confused and quite frankly turned on fog consuming your mind so you were able to form words again and cleared your throat. "Of course not."  
"Good, well that's settled. See you two tomorrow. Good job today."

The boys said goodbye to their father and you and Trudgen lead them back home in silence. Part of you were disappointed that you wouldn't be seeing Kylo Ren for the rest of the day but part of you were relieved. You needed some space to catch your breath after that encounter with Kylo Ren. Could he actually read your mind or was it that he was sensing your energy? You could try to control them both but how well would that work and for how long? 

-

The next day was uneventful. You had gotten used to the routine and hadn't had any major run ins with the Supreme Hottie. He had been really busy once he got back that day and had missed dinner again choosing to eat in his office so he could get more work done. You had overheard him yelling about someone called Hux who he referred to as the biggest pain in his ass in all the galaxy. Supposedly this Hux guy messed something big up and Kylo Ren had to fix it. 

Corr and Sion were telling you about their plans for the following day that they were very excited about. They were going to be spending the day with their friend Rix and his mother exploring the fields of Brada where rare fruits grow that they learned about in class. Of course one of the knights of Ren would be accompanying them for safety but they were used to it and so were their friends. Your only job for tomorrow would be dropping them off in the morning and then you had your first day off since arriving on the star destroyer and getting hired by the Supreme Leader. 

Kylo Ren made it a point to attend to the children's bedtime. You could see that it was important to him. Maybe it was an escape from his demanding job and a short period of time he could feel normal or maybe he wanted to make sure his children had the type of father he had wanted growing up. You had heard the stories about him murdering his own father and had always wondered what had prompted that. Was he just a cold blooded killer with no remorse or had his father failed him so badly that this was the only way? You knew you'd probably never find out though. 

You made your way to room for the night wishing Mrs. Baize a goodnight and closed the door. After getting dressed and ready for bed, your body melted into the soft bed and your mind started to wander. Seeing Kylo Ren even if just briefly earlier made those thoughts you had in the gym resurface. What was wrong with you? Your mind kept creating different scenarios and even just the thought of his strong hands touching you was enough to make your panties wet. You laid in bed thinking about how he was just one room away now and how easy it would be to just tip toe in there and beg him to rapture you but you also knew that he was not only your boss but also the most feared man in the galaxy who could kill you with one flick of the wrist so you couldn't exactly go about doing that. However, the thought of danger seemed to have the opposite reaction on the growing desire in your core. You had to take care of this. 

You slowly started running your hands down your stomach and under the waistband of your pajama shorts. Circling around your folds from the outside of your panties you noticed exactly how wet you really were thinking about this man. How did he have this effect on you in such a short period of time? 

You imagined his fingers pushing aside the wet cloth and dipping into you without a warning. You couldn't contain the moan that escaped your lips as you pumped two of your own fingers as deeply as they could go inside of you. Your thumb started making lazy circles around your clit causing you to moan louder. 

You were insatiable now going faster and faster as you thought about him wrapping his hand around your throat. You could feel your release getting closer and closer. You thought about him kissing you all over, licking, biting and sucking at your sensitive flesh. Pinching your hardened nipples. That thought was all you needed. A wave of blinding pleasure took over as you came undone. You didn't even notice how loud you were as you climaxed. You didn't really care in that moment. You had achieved the release you had needed and you intended to allow the feeling to envelope you as long as it could. 

As you came back down to reality, you remembered exactly how close the Supreme Leader was to your room. Did he hear you? Did he sense you? Was that possible when you weren't in the same room?  
"Oh shit...."

-

Beep. Beep. Beep.

You quickly turned off your alarm on your data pad. It was your first Saturday morning on the job and you knew that you had to get the boys ready to go to their friend's house for their day of adventure. It would be nice to have the rest of the day off. Sure, you were enjoying spending time with Sion and Corr but you would love to have a day to yourself so you could finally walk around and get acclimated to the ship. You hadn't even seen the cantina or the cafeteria yet. 

You got ready quickly throwing on a casual light blue day dress that hit right above the knees and cinched nicely around your waist. You weren't sure if many women wore dresses here but you wore them often where you came from and weren't made aware of any dress code so you were going to wear the damn dress. It was comfortable. 

The boys were already awake beaming excitedly as you made your way into the kitchen. No sign of Kylo Ren. Mrs. Baize was in the kitchen humming to herself as she prepared the boy's breakfast. Some kind of muffin. You walked over to where the coffee pot was and poured yourself a cup. "Good morning everyone. Are you boys ready to explore today with Rix?  
"Yes! It's going to be a blast!" Zion was practically bouncing out of his chair. "What are you going to do today Miss Y/N?"  
"Not much. I will probably just walk around some and then come back to watch a movie in my room."  
"Boringgg!" They said in unison.   
You let out a laugh and shrugged. "It's fun for someone boring like me."  
Mrs. Baize wrapped the breakfast up in some brown paper and handed it to the boys. "You boys better take this on the go or you'll be late. Have fun you two!"  
You quickly gulped down the rest of your coffee and gathered the boys' overnight bags. "Lets go!"

After dropping the boys off, you realized you were going to need your data pad's map if you didn't want to get lost for two days so you went back to the home and retrieved it from your room. Once you opened your door to exit, Kylo Ren was right in front of you looking at you with darkened eyes. "Did you have a good night last night, princess?" There was that pet name again. So you hadn't imagined it. It caught you off guard so all you could do was nod. You cleared your throat and tried to get a handle on yourself.  
"Yes, Supreme Leader. I slept well. I hope you did as well."  
"Hm. I found it quite difficult to sleep actually. You see, your moans and dirty thoughts were keeping me awake."


	3. Punishments and Rewards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren overheard you pleasuring yourself. What will your punishment be?

***Before continuing, note that there are mature themes in this chapter that could potentially be triggering. The following are included:   
Light BDSM  
Dubious Consent   
Degradation  
Proceed with caution if any of these are triggering to you.*** 

Oh shit! He had heard you. Were you about to fired? Getting fired was probably the most kind option he could bestow you. Getting killed seemed more likely. 

He watched your face, taking in your widened eyes and apparent fear. He smirked, eyeing you like he had just cornered his prey and was going to pounce at any moment. Was he seriously enjoying your discomfort? You watched as his gaze lowered looking at your dress and going lower to your exposed legs. 

"I'm so very sorry, Supreme Leader. I...I don't know what came over me. It was so unprofessional and it will never-"  
"Never what, hmm? Happen again? I doubt that. Whores like you can't help themselves. Whores like you deserve to be punished and taught a lesson." He abruptly grabbed onto your wrist and drug you into the hallway and through his bedroom door. You only had a brief moment to take everything in noting the deep red walls and large, ornate black poster bed with black silk bedding and pillows. It definitely suited his dark demeanor. The room smelled intensely like him which almost calmed your nerves for a second. Almost. 

You winced as he released your wrist throwing your arm back toward you. He took a seat on the leather bench at the foot of his bed eying you the whole time as you rubbed at where he had grabbed you.   
"Come."  
You hesitated unsure of what he was going to do. Was he going to hurt you? Kill you? The hesitation clearly angered Kylo, his brows knitting together toward you.   
"Do as I say before I grab you by the hair and drag you over to me."  
You began taking slow steps over to where he was until you were standing directly in front of him.   
"Lay on your stomach over my lap."  
"Wha....what?"  
"You heard me. Don't make me say it again."  
You did as you were told. You felt embarrassed to be in this position but you also started feeling something else. There was a warmth building in your lower abdomen. Arousal. 

Kylo Ren's fingers began to lightly trail up your leg, slowly pushing up the hem of your dress.   
"Did you wear this hoping that I'd lift it up and fuck you? Do you take joy in tempting me in my own home?"  
"No sir! I'm sorry. I can go change! Please, sir."  
"Mmmm. I like that word coming out of that mouth. I want you to call me that from now on. Do you understand?"  
It took you a moment to realize what word he was referring to. Your mind was a swirling mess of fear, uncertainty and lust making thinking clearly almost impossible.  
"Yes...Yes, Sir." You had to admit, you liked the sound of it as well.  
Kylo took a deep breath in, reveling in hearing you already being so submissive to him. "Good girl." You liked the sound of that phrase even more. You wanted to hear it again. You liked hearing that you pleased him even if it was just for saying the right thing.

"Now, for your punishment." He lifted up your skirt the rest of the way revealing your panties. You hoped he wouldn't notice the wet spot that you were sure was forming.   
"Naughty girl. Are you getting wet just at the thought of me punishing you?"  
Of course he noticed. Damn it.  
You felt the heat in your cheeks as you blushed embarrassed of him seeing you like this. You felt so vulnerable. "Y-yes...yes, Sir."  
"You don't even know what I'm going to do to you yet and you are already wanting it. You really are a dirty whore." At that you felt a sudden thwack to your left ass cheek.  
"Ah!" The shock of the sudden smack made you jump but Kylo had you pinned down with his arm across your back making you helpless to him. 

"I want you to count out loud each time I spank you. If you take your punishment like a good girl then I will consider rewarding you."  
A reward? Just moments ago you thought he was going to chop your head off with his lightsaber and now he is talking about a reward? Maybe this wouldn't be so bad!  
"Yes, Sir."  
Kylo didn't say anything at that other than "Mhmm" and without skipping a beat, another hard smack hit the same check as before causing the fading mark to grow hot again. You remembered the potential reward and followed his directions.  
"One."   
Thwack! Another smack on the other cheek this time.  
"Two."

As his assault on your ass continued, tears prickled at the corners of your eyes. Your vision began to get blurry and you had to bite your lip at each smack to avoid letting out a sob. He kept switching from left to right, occasionally hitting the same spot twice causing you to flinch and squirm but you continued counting, wanting to please him. You desperately wanted to hear him call you a good girl again. 

Thwack!  
"Fifteen!" This time a tear fell and your voice sounded more strangled from trying to hold back from crying. You braced yourself for the next smack but the next thing you felt was Kylo's large hand gently caressing the stinging flesh making it feel better with each pass.   
"You did so good, Princess. Such a good job taking your punishment." His voice was calm and soothing.   
It was then that you realized you could feel his hardened bulge pressing into your stomach. You must've been too concentrated on counting and taking the spanking to realize that he was also turned on. Your thoughts went back to the potential reward and you wondered if you had earned him. If you had earned being allowed to take his cock. 

"Are you going to fuck me now, Sir." The words came out before you even realized what you were saying.  
"No."  
You practically sighed in frustration. You felt needy and clearly you wouldn't be able to take care of yourself later.  
"Why not? You said I did well."  
"You haven't earned that yet but yes, you did do well and you deserve a reward."   
His hand stoped caressing your ass and moved up to your panties, fingers hooking around the top and pulled them down quickly to your ankles. The cool air hit your newly exposed cunt causing you to shiver in anticipation. Kylo continued to hold you down over his lap as two of his fingers rubbed across your folds testing your wetness. You turned your head toward him and watched as he took his fingers into his mouth tasting you. 

"Mmmm. You're delicious, Princess." His words caused you to clench. "Would you like my fingers inside you now?"  
"Yes! Yes please, Sir!"  
"Good girl. I like hearing you beg for me." He wrapped his right arm around your waist under you and stuck two fingers into you pumping quickly in and out hitting your g-spot perfectly. His left arm continued to hold you down but moved up as his hand grabbed hold of your hair, gently pulling at it.   
"Ahh. Mmmm. Yes!" Your moans almost echoed in his room. There was no way you could be quiet. Not with the Supreme Leader's fingers inside of you. His fingers were so big that just the two of them felt like they were filling you up completely. If his fingers were this big, how big would his cock be? Goosebumps began to prickle all over your body as you released a deep sigh letting the wave of bliss course through your veins.

His thumb began swirling around your clit adding even more pleasure. Your legs began to shake and you could tell that you wouldn't last much long with how talented his fingers were. You had never come for a man this quickly.  
"Don't you dare come until I tell you that you can."  
You were getting closer and closer. There was no way you could last much longer.   
"Please, Sir. I can't hold it. I need to come!"  
"Keep begging me for it."  
Words were getting harder to form but you needed this so you just allowed whatever words formed to come out even if it didn't make any sense.  
"Ah! Please. Fuck! Please, Sir! Please! Please!" You were fighting against your body that was threatening to explode at any moment. The pleasure was intense and he wasn't slowing his pace on you in the least.   
"Okay, my needy little slut. Come on my fingers. Come for your master."

A guttural moan left you as you clenched around his fingers, coming harder than you ever had. His movements began to slow as you rode out the intensity of your orgasm. Your rigid body began to melt back into his lap and your heart rate began to go back to normal. Kylo pulled his fingers out of you and pulled you to an almost sitting position on his lap to lift you up into his arms and over to his bed. Your limbs were basically jello at the point so you appreciated not having to get up and walk just yet. 

Kylo disappeared behind what you figured was the bathroom door and reemerged with a damp cloth that he used to gently clean you up. The action was surprisingly thoughtful. You thought he would've told you to get out right after he was done with you but he seemed actually caring which was far from the man who just had you over his lap spanking you.   
"You can stay in here as long as you need to recover. I know that took a lot out of you."  
"Um...thank you."  
He nodded in acknowledgement and began to head to his bedroom door. "I have work to do with General Hux. Mrs. Baize will be here later to prepare dinner."  
The formality of the conversation after what just happened caught you off guard.   
"Okay. Will you be at dinner?"  
"It depends on work. If not, Mrs. Baize will put a plate aside for me. Enjoy the rest of your day." With that, he was out the door. 

You wondered how things were going to be moving forward. Was this just a one time thing? Was this going to change your work dynamic? Were things going to progress even further if there was a next time? You thought things were complicated. Little had you known how complicated things could be. 

**Whew! 🥵  
I promised things would start heating up. If you've been waiting for the smut and have made it this far, thank you for trusting me when I said it was coming. I hope you all liked this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it!**


	4. Dinner Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the steamy punishment you endured earlier in the day, you are excited/nervous about having dinner with Kylo Ren. What will happen when you arrive to see he has dinner guests and you see the look of desire on Kylo’s face as he takes you in?

You weren’t sure if Kylo Ren would be at dinner but you had really hoped he would. After your last encounter, where you came all over his fingers, and knowing you’d potentially be alone with him tonight, you decided to dress up a bit just in case he would show up. When you had packed that velvet emerald cocktail dress, you thought you’d probably never wear it but now seemed like the perfect time. It had a strap going down your left shoulder which lead to a sweetheart neckline and a more fitted bodice. The waistline was tight and the formation down the thigh was angled. 

You made sure to arrive at dinner on time, remembering what Mrs. Baize had told you about Kylo Ren being a stickler on schedule. As you arrived, you were astonished to see the Supreme Leader already seated at the far end of the table looking exquisite in a black suit and a matching black shirt with a sleek black tie going down the middle. Damn he looked good! He wasn’t wearing his mask, which you were thankful for. It always made you uneasy to speak to him in it. He was already intimidating enough without it. You hadn’t seen him this dressed up before and you wondered what was the cause. Was it for you? Had your encounter meant that much to him?

You noticed the moment his eyes met yours. Eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, and clear lust in his eyes as he raked in every inch of your body in the form fitting gown. His infatuation left as quickly as it came. He quickly cleared his throat. 

“This is my children’s nanny, Miss. Y/N. Since the kids are away for the night, she will be joining us for dinner.” You took a short glance around the room to see who he was talking to and saw a squirmy, red headed man at the far left side of the table sitting with a pale, attractive, timid woman with brunette hair and bangs sitting near him. Both of whom looked pretty on edge for a casual dinner. That made sense though as you remembered your first dinner there and how you felt like you’d be turned to ash within moments of talking to him. As soon as you made eye contact with the man, you felt an instant distrust in him. He seemed to keep looking at Kylo is a way of disdain but then it would vanish and turn into a fake respect. You eyed the woman for a second longer sensing that she didn’t want to be there anymore than you wanted to. 

“Sit, Miss Y/N.” Kylo gave you a look that told you not to even try to question him, so you didn’t and you sat down. “This is General Armitage Hux and his…girlfriend is it, Hux?” Kylo looked slyly toward this General Hux as if he was taunting him. General Hux gave a similar face as he answered. 

“Yes, Supreme Leader. This is Miss Jaina Arden.” He gave her no further introduction other than taking her hand limply into his and for a moment you could see pain in her eyes as if she had wanted him to introduce her more. Was she possibly more to him than he lead on? Or maybe she had the wrong impression. You were very curious. You weren’t really expecting any company but now you felt like it could be diverting in the best of ways. You shouldn’t be wanting to fuck your boss, right? This would give you a good distraction….for the meantime. 

You took your seat at the other end of the table, hoping that was the right move as Kylo looked you, appraisingly. You slipped the soft black napkin into your lap and watched as Mrs. Baize approached you with a canter of red wine, the same one that she had given you before. “Would you like some wine, Miss?”   
You had never been more grateful to have been offered a glass of wine as you were now. It felt like every eye was on you because you were the odd one out. You didn’t belong there and everyone knew it but Mrs. Baize treated you all the same. 

“Yes, thank you.” She nodded at you in knowing sympathy and assurance and poured the wine into your glass. You watched the glass fill with the red liquid for a bit before looking up to see Kylo Ren eyeing you with a look of….what was that? Playfulness? Was he enjoying catching you off guard? Of course he freaking was. This man seemed to always find pleasure in your embarrassment and discomfort. This couldn’t be the same man who cleaned you off so carefully after fingering you into oblivion hours earlier, could it? You looked down to your lap and up your dress. Why again had you decided to dress up for him? Weak bitch. You sighed to yourself as you took an extra large gulp of wine. Luckily Hux spoke before anyone directed anything toward you. 

“Are the plans for Luuri complete, sir?”  
“This is no place to talk business, Hux. We can discuss that tomorrow morning.”  
Kylo’s eyes never left you as he spoke. The darkness you saw earlier peered into you as you sipped your wine.   
“Okay…well, should I be prepping the troopers to-“ Hux was cut off before he could complete his sentence.   
“What did I just say? Lets just enjoy our meal.” 

Mrs. Baize brought out an arrangement of meats and fruits you had never seen before but everything looked so beautiful and colorful that you didn’t hesitate to fill your plate. On your home planet of Ryloth, things never came to you so easily. Imports were not common and anything you got, you had to work for in ways you would never speak of again so you mainly ate pre-packaged portions of bread or some of the uncertain vegetation around you. Zilturik never cared about you or your adopted siblings so you all just had to adapt and find what you could. You closed your eyes tight for a moment, not wanting to think about the past. You opened your eyes and stabbed a piece of the unfamiliar fruit on your plate. 

Kylo watched as you brought the fork to your mouth and began to eat it. You had to stifle a moan. You had never tasted anything like it. It was so sweet, with a tangy but earthy kick. You wanted to ask what it was but you wanted to avoid any eyes on you but there already were. Kylo gave you a sly smirk which made you blush. As you looked away, you also noticed Hux eyeing you but he quickly diverted his eyes in hopes you didn’t see the way he watched the juice of the fruit begin to drip down the side of your mouth. 

His glances weren’t lost by anyone, however. Kylo was glaring at him but kept his lips in a straight line, trying to hold himself back. From what? You weren’t entirely sure. You remembered him talking about Hux on the phone and remembered how mad he was at him. Maybe he just didn’t like the prick. 

The juice falling from the side of your mouth dripped down your chin and made it’s way down to your chest, reaching your cleavage, dripping it’s way down your breast. Kylo watched closely as the liquid disappeared and licked his lips. 

Hux struck up another conversation with Kylo but you couldn’t focus on what they were talking about. Something about some ship or something. Jaina looked painfully bored. You considered talking to her but you honestly had no clue what she would want to talk about. The rest of dinner went on like this. You were relieved when Hux stood up and announced that they should be going. Kylo stood up and shook his hand as he nodded toward Jaina saying his goodbyes. They barely acknowledged you on their way out but you didn’t mind it. 

As soon as the door shut, Kylo turned to Mrs. Baize and said “ You may leave now. I will clean up.” Mrs. Baize looked slightly shocked but didn’t question it and replied “ Yes, sir.” She grabbed her bag and slinked out the door only looking back as if to check on you to make sure you were okay. You nodded lightly and she exited the door. 

A few moments passed as Kylo looked at you across the table. Your heart began to race. Did you say something wrong? Your hands began to sweat. Did he not want you to join them at dinner?

“You keep trying to tempt me, slut, don’t you? Wearing a dress like that? Is this fun for you? To tempt me in front of my general?” You watched as he palmed himself under the table causing you to suck your lower lip into your mouth and bite it.   
“No, Sir. I just thought…I thought you’d like it…Sir.”

Kylo dryly laughed, only looking away from you for a moment and then reached your eyes again. “Get over here, whore.”

You began to shakily stand up from your seat but he shook his head. “No, no. Get on your knees and crawl on the table.” Of course he’d want to make it this humiliating. What else should you have had expected? However, what else had you expected from yourself after your last encounter. You had no idea what made you want to submit and give Kylo all of you so fast. You were never this kind of girl. Fuck. You were always the type to put men in their place not the other way around. 

Who were you? It was like you suddenly had an intense fetish you were never aware of and that fetish was just for him.

You got up on the table and, purposefully took your time on your arms and knees crawling toward him, pushing the plates and glassware to the side gently as you kept your eyes glued to his, licking your lower lip. Watching his aroused face as you moved closer only made you feel more hot and in control. You stopped midway and sat on your hind legs just to take the hem of your dress and move it slowly and methodically up your thighs and around your waist. You wanted to give him as much of a show as you were able to get away with. 

You watched him inhale taking in the show and you decided to push it more. You leaned back and slipped out of your wet panties, slinging them toward him with a wink. Kylo caught them easily and held them to his nose, inhaling them deeply with his eyes shut. 

You felt insecure for a moment thinking that there was no way he could find your scent attractive but to much of your surprise he slowly opened his eyes instantly meeting yours, lust burning in them. “Get. Over. Here. Now.”

You couldn’t even think. You crawled the rest of the way across the table and he grabbed you forcefully across the waist as his other hand worked the zipper and button of his pants. You watched as he let his cock spring to life outside of his pants, finally. You had been waiting to see it. To feel it. Was now your chance? 

He pulled your hips even closer, off of the table and directly on top of him pulling you harshly on top of his large cock. It burned entering you at that speed causing you to yelp out loud. It was much larger than you expected, filling you more than you thought possible. You didn’t know if you could take this but then Kylo began rubbing your clit with nothing that felt human. It felt like him but you looked down and there was nothing there. He looked into your eyes and cockingly grinned saying ‘the force” and laughed. You had no clue what he meant but you gave in and your mind went into full bliss mode. You felt him hit deep into your walls, pumping harder and harder, grunting in pleasure. It made your wetness grow knowing that the freaking Supreme Leader was grunting for you!

“My stars...you are so fucking tight.” Kylo was lost in you and you felt not only intense pleasure but also pride in knowing who was writhing under your pussy. It was enough to get your orgasm to build. You could feel your orgasm growing closer but you wanted to hold out for him. 

“Do you like that pussy, Supreme Leader?”  
“Mmhmm…yes, Princess.” You could see he was also close but you also saw something else in his eyes. What was that?  
“What is it Kylo?” You decided to try calling him by his first name for the first time not knowing if he was okay with it or not. He was fully in your cunt. Who couldn’t argue when they were in that position, right?  
Turns out you were right…kind of.   
He pulled out of you in an instant laying you on your back on top of the table, cunt throbbing for him to put his member back inside of you but he just hooked his index and middle finger into your mouth and pushed down your tongue causing you to open your mouth as he wanted it and then he spit down your throat causing you to sputter and cough in shock. If it were anyone else, you probably would’ve cussed them out but when he did it, it made your body alight with need. “What did you call me?”

“Kylo?” You said to the best of your ability under his forceful fingers.”  
“Whores don’t get to call me that. You are only allowed to refer to me as Sir or Master when you’re on my cock, is that understood?” He took his hand out of your mouth and slapped your cheek lightly.   
“Yes, Sir.”  
“Good girl.” You knew you shouldn’t be allowing a man to talk to you like this. To treat you like this, but it didn’t feel wrong or scary. It felt right and it turned you on to the max. 

At that, he held his cock at your entrance and rubbed the tip to coat himself in your slickness.   
“Now be a good girl and take your Master’s cock.” Kylo slammed into you again. This time you didn’t hold back your loud moans. Your head tilted back as the sound of dishes clattering and the table rocking filled the room. Kylo pulled down the top of your dress and grabbed fistfuls of your breasts, kneading them roughly in his calloused palms.

The force began to attack your clit again. You definitely wouldn’t be able to hold back this time. “Can I come, Sir?”  
“You know what I want you to, Princess. Beg.”  
“Please! Please, Master. Please let your dirty princess come! Please!!”  
That seemed to spark something in him as he thrusted even harder into you. “Fuck! Ah, fuck! You are my dirty princess. All mine! Come for me!”

If you had thought your orgasm on his fingers had been planet shattering, this orgasm was galaxy shattering. You let out a slew of moans and obscenities and he slowed down his movements as he filled you with his load. You could feel the hot liquid pouring out of you getting on your legs and the table due to how full you were. 

He let himself lightly collapse on top of you. Head on your chest and long hair tickling your skin. You both stayed like that for a few moments catching your breath and coming down from your high. 

Yes. This somehow felt right. At that moment you knew that not only did you not want this thing going on between you two to stop, but that you wanted more. Kylo Ren had peaked your curiosity and you intended to get to know him regardless of any walls he had up. You wanted to break them down and see if maybe this thing between you two could blossom into a real relationship. Now how in the galaxy would you do that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY we got what I know we have all been waiting for! How did you like the scene on the table? 
> 
> I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far! I’m having a lot of fun writing it and have big plans on where it is going to go.


	5. Two Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Kylo dismisses you so easily, your thoughts are all over the place. All you do know is that you want to explore more of whatever it is between the two of you. Does Kylo want the same thing?

Kylo's POV:

As Kylo laid on her chest feeling her breathe in and out, he realized what was going on. He was getting too close. He needed to back away. Feelings were not what he was taught. It wasn't right. He needed to stop this and he did it in the only way he knew how.

He swiftly arose. "Clean yourself up and get to bed." He knew it would be off-putting.   
"Are you...are you freaking kidding me? After all that?" She seemed upset. More than upset. Maybe slightly hurt but he couldn't help himself. He just needed to go to his room and deal with his demons without her beautiful eyes trying to peer through him.

The moment he met her, she couldn't see his face but he saw hers. Large doe eyes, scared but intrigued. She took him in, terrified but with a sense of excitement. The way her pencil skirt hugged her waist and thighs was tantalizing but what was even more tantalizing were her supple lips. The way that she bit onto her bottom lip in concern and then sucked on it later in arousal without even noticing it herself.

She threw herself off of of him in a huff, quickly putting her clothes back on, avoiding eye contact with him. It stung a little but he was used to it. After Rey, the only interaction he had with women were prostitutes and women who understood that he only wanted sex with no talking or feelings. He was numb. He didn't know how to do anything serious anymore.

"Wow." She finished dressing herself quickly in the emerald dress she had worn for dinner that evening. The source of him letting his guard down slightly. He wasn't used to seeing so much skin on base and especially not the most delectable skin like Miss Y/N's skin. Everything was perfect. Every piece of her skin begged to be licked, bit and spanked. Every part begged his hands to touch them. He wanted everything from her but didn't know why. He felt sure she wouldn't want him to touch her if she knew exactly what he wanted to do to her. What exactly he was into.

Rey had consumed him in a way, but so much of that was just the force link Palpatine had placed on them. It was created in a sense. He did feel like he felt alive for the first time in a long time. He felt like Ben again with Rey momentarily but his dark side had pulled her in even harder and that led to her death. He would never let Luke live that down.

She had eventually become his dark Empress and he loved it. It was everything he could've imagined. Her hand in his, wielding her dual-saber against their enemies. She would smile as she struck them down, still so full of joy. She was so beautiful and carefree. Unfortunately, that didn't last. As she grew more and more pregnant with their sons, she also began to feel more determined. Rey wanted the resistance destroyed. After learning about what they had done to Kylo all those years ago, knowing why Ben Solo had been replaced by Kylo Ren, she knew they had to be wiped out. She didn't want her sons to ever be around them and she feared Luke and Leia would go after her sons and hurt them the way they had hurt Kylo.

The memory of how she died seemed constantly present. Luke had drawn closer, thanks to what was left of the resistance. He had some idea in his head that he could convince her to join the resistance again. There was no way in the seven hells that would happen so he killed her. He murdered Kylo's beloved and almost succeeded in killing their unborn children. Luckily, Kylo was able to get Rey and their babies some medical attention before she succumbed to her injuries. The stress of the fight was enough to put her into labor and she used every last bit of her strength to give birth to them. In the final moments of her life, she looked at Kylo holding their sons and said "Corr" as she pointed at Corr and then pointed at Sion. "Sion. Take care of them my love."

The memory felt too heavy on Kylo's skull to consume. He pushed it away and remembered his surroundings. He knew Y/N was upset but he had to let it play out. This was the only way.  
"Fuck you, KYLO!!" She screamed your assigned name knowing you had told her not call him that. Everyone else was too scared to try to yell at him this way. Kylo turned and faced her quickly.  
"'Didn't I just tell you not to call me that, whore?"

She looked up at him with anger firing behind her eyes.   
"I'm so sick of being afraid of you and you just doing what you want to me to do. Now you're just leaving after what we just did without a care at all?"  
"Yes." He stood up and without a last glance, He went to his room knowing that he was putting a necessary wedge in between you both. 

——

Y/N's POV:

He left you there. Your mind was reeling as you waited for him to come back and clean you up as he did the last time but this time there was no care or concern. He had gotten his fuck, hadn't he? So why had you thought he would come back? You were only a whore to him.

You sat up on the table and took in the surroundings. Plates of food on the floor, broken dishes, and a disheveled tablecloth. You dropped to the floor as you remembered Kylo telling Mrs. Baize that he would clean up and felt bad so you began picking the pieces of broken glass off of the floor.

As you picked up the pieces and discarded them safely, you ran the events through your mind and wondered if you had done something wrong. Sure, he seemed kind of pissed in the beginning, but he seemed like he was enjoying everything just as much as you had. What could've caused the coldness afterward?

-

The memories and thoughts from that night plagued you for the next few days. The days started blending together as your routine became second nature and it was already Thursday. Kylo had been on some mission all week. You'd think some space between the two of you would be helpful but as the days passed, it only made you more and more anxious. You wanted to confront him. You needed answers about what this thing was. You wanted to demand some kind of explanation. You had never felt this way after having sex before. Sex was fun but this was something more. It was like being with him in the way that he did things...it just made you feel alive and free. You also felt safe, like in that moment, you could give everything over to him and he would take care of it. That feeling was intoxicating and it made you crave more. You didn't understand any of this. It was hard to process things when the person consuming your mind wasn't even around to process it with.

You were in the living room tidying up from where the boys were playing games earlier when you heard them excitedly run to the door.   
"He's back!" Corr was practically hopping up and down on his way and Sion was right behind him. The door clicked open and in strode Kylo. His face was dirty and his hair was slick with sweat. Whatever he had been doing on this mission of his seemed like a lot of work. He met the boys with a smile and tussled Sion's hair with a soft smile. He seemed to instantly find comfort with them and tension visually left his shoulders.

He hadn't even noticed you were in the room until you cleared your throat causing his eyes to snap up to you immediately. All thoughts of confronting him started to dwindle. After not seeing him for almost five whole days, you had forgotten what his eyes had felt like peering into yours. They were intimidating in all possible ways. You opened your mouth to say something but closed it again, glancing nervously at the boys who were looking at you both in confusion.

"Um, welcome home Supreme Leader." That would have to do for now. It's not like you could speak openly at the moment anyway. "Corr and Sion have missed you." As if they were the only ones. "Didn't you boys?"  
The confusion left their faces as they turned their excited attention back to their father. "Yes we did! Sion and I drew you a new picture. We worked together on it. Do you want to see it?"  
"Not now. I need to go take a shower before dinner. Miss Y/N, make sure they are dressed and ready on time."  
"Yes, Sir." At that title crossing your lips again, Kylo looked at you hungrily but quickly averted his gaze and went to his room closing the door loudly. Did that mean he actually did want you?

————

Kylo's POV:

Kylo stormed into his room. "Fuck!" Of course he wanted her. She was all he could think about which had made focusing on things for work much more difficult. It was driving him mad and the only thing that had helped was all of the killing he had done that week. Well that and the moments he snuck each night relieving himself thinking about you. His mission had been successful but that didn't quench his feelings of want. Of need. He had to have you again but it felt like such a risk. The last time he had allowed himself to give into this kind of obsession was when he had met that feisty scavenger who later became his wife and that only ended in pain.

He walked to his large, black shower and turned it on as he took his dirt and dried blood covered tunic and pants off, throwing them into the basket in the corner. He entered the shower feeling instant relief as the hot water hit his sore shoulders and back caused from wielding his heavy lightsaber. The relief was short lived though. He heard the sound of your door open and close causing him to tense up again. "She's probably getting ready for dinner." He thought to himself.

At that, the thoughts started racing again. He imagined you slowly taking off your clothes and walking to your closet in just your bra and panties trying to find another outfit that would drive him into ripping it off of you. His hand drifted down to his erect penis like it had every day since Saturday. He closed his eyes and imagined what it would be like to have you in the shower with him, replacing his hand with yours stroking him as the water cascaded between the two of you. He imagined running his hands all over your body grabbing onto your perfect breasts, pinching your nipple and then making his way to your center causing you to moan out his name loudly. The sound of your moans were still fresh in his mind causing him to quicken his pace on himself. He imagined the way your pretty face contorted when you were letting pleasure flow through you. The way your lips parted. The way your breath quickened. The way you begged for him. Everything about you excited him.

As he continued to stroke himself fervently, he sensed you briefly. You were thinking about him and you were aroused. You were imagining what he looked like in his shower. "Dirty little thing." He knew you wouldn't touch yourself without his permission though. You wanted to follow his instructions if only to please him. That submission was all it took. He came in his hand letting the water rinse away the evidence down the drain. He steadied himself with his arm outstretched and hand on the wall catching his breath.

Kylo Ren knew two things to be true: He had to have you and he couldn't let himself let his walls down. They were there for not only his protection but yours too. He knew he had to come up with a plan that would let both those truths work together. An idea popped into his mind and a smirk came to his lips. "This could work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I know it was a little different but I wanted both perspectives to be seen in this one and a little bit of a background to be told. Hopefully Rey's death made sense 😬. Remember that I am most definitely not sticking to canon.


	6. Arrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo takes you to a new room in his home. Will you like what you find there, or will it scare you away?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 18+  
> This chapter has depictions of a D/s relationship with BDSM themes.

Dinner was awkward. Sion and Corr seemed to sense a tension in the room so they stuck with eating their food and occasionally talking amongst each other instead of attempting conversation with their father like they normally would. You kept your eyes focused on your plate pushing pieces of your food around nervously. 

Intrusive thoughts of what you and Kylo did on this table swam through your head and you tried to push them away. Now was not the time to be thinking this way. You thought you could feel Kylo’s eyes on you from across the table and when you glanced up you saw you were right. He was looking straight at you while swirling his glass of whisky in his hand. His gaze was intense. So intense that it made you automatically look back down and clear your throat. You had to get out of there. 

“Um, Supreme Leader?”  
“Yes?”  
“I’m not feeling very well. May I be excused to my room for the remainder of the night?”  
You looked back up to find a small but devilish smirk pull at the corner of his mouth. He had you right where he wanted. You knew it and he definitely knew it. He enjoyed intimidating you.  
“You’re excused, Miss Y/N.”

You quickly stood up, said your goodnights to the boys and practically ran to your room resting against the closed door once you made it. Was every dinner going to be this awkward now? How were you supposed to do your job with this type of tension hanging over you and Kylo?

-

You had taken a shower and gotten comfortable in bed when you heard a knock at your door. You put on your slippers and made your way to answer it. It was Kylo. Of course it was. Your eyes were wide and your mouth went dry. You didn’t know what to say so you stood their awkwardly waiting for him to speak first. 

“Come. I want to show you something.” He immediately walked to his door and opened it gesturing you with an extended arm to go inside. You eyed him suspiciously but followed him into the room. The last time you were in his room he had put you over his knee, spanked you and finger fucked you. What was he going to do to you this time? 

A rush of excitement came over you as you looked over at his large bed. You hadn’t even noticed that he was standing directly behind you until he gently put his hand on the small of your back urging you towards a door you hadn’t noticed the last time you were in there. You found it odd that there was a finger scanner on the outside of the door and wondered if he kept weapons in there or something. Your excitement changed back to fear at the thought of him taking you into a room full of weapons. 

Kylo let out a chuckle. “ No need to be scared, Princess. I’m not going to hurt you. Not until you want me to.” He scanned his finger and looked down at you as he slowly opened the door. 

You peered in but the room was dark and you couldn’t make anything out other than the distinct smell of leather. Kylo walked in ahead of you and turned on a light. The room was bigger than you thought it would be. Around the same size as your bedroom. The walls were dark, almost black but what was on the walls was what made your jaw drop. 

A neat row of whips, chains, paddles and other instruments you didn’t automatically recognize lined one wall. Another wall boasted a large leather X that had restraints on all ends. There was a large metal bed in the center of the room with several hooks on the sides and bars on the top. Your mind was swirling trying to comprehend what you were looking at. Everywhere you looked, you saw more and more pieces of odd furniture and torture devices. Did he torture people in here in his free time or something? 

Kylo quietly watched you as you spun around wide eyed and confused. You looked up at fearfully.  
“Is this a torture dungeon?”  
He let out a small laugh. “Kind of but probably not the type you are thinking of.”  
“So you don’t torture enemies here then?”  
“Definitely not. Only naughty princesses who beg me for it.”  
This took you aback. “Who would beg to be tortured?”  
“You’d be surprised. I think you would like it.”  
Something about his tone and the way he was looking lustfully at you made you wonder if you really would like it. 

You walked over to the wall with the row of random instruments and ran your hands across them but stopped when your hand met a long black stick with a piece of leather at the end. It looked like something similar you’d seen Twi-leks strike blurggs with when they wanted them to go faster. The more harsh Twi-leks like Zilturik went for more painful methods to control the beasts like stun batons. You shuddered at the memory of your former owner’s cruelty. 

Kylo came to your side and took the device in his large hand.  
“Do you know what this is?”  
“Not really but I’m guessing it’s something you hit with?”  
Kylo smiled. “It’s a crop and yes it is used to hit.”  
“Does it hurt?”  
“It can. It depends on your pain tolerance but the pain can feel nice just like how you felt when I spanked you. You liked that pain, didn’t you, Princess.”  
You felt heat on your cheeks. You had liked it but you didn’t know why and you didn’t know how to admit it.

Kylo took your chin in his hand and lifted your face to look up at him.  
“Look at you all flushed. You’re so pretty when you blush. You don’t have to be embarrassed. I feel it too. You want more, don’t you?”  
All you could manage was a light nod. You knew you wanted more. You craved more from him at every moment of the day.  
“That’s why I brought you here. I knew you wanted more and I do too. I think we can come up with an arrangement that won’t interfere with your job.”

You immediately perked up. He did want you the way you wanted him.  
“What kind of arrangement?”  
“Well, outside of this room, I am still your boss. You will address me as such and there will be nothing beyond that.”  
Your heart sunk a little. You hadn’t really gotten your hopes up about Kylo being more than just the boss that you occasionally fucked but you did feel some pull towards him that didn’t feel like just lust.  
“Okay. What about when we are in this room? What are you then?”  
“We will see where it goes. We can just play out scenes. I’d like to see if you have what it takes to become my submissive. I think you do.”

Play out scenes? Submissive? You had no clue what he was talking about. You knew what submissive meant but what did he mean by becoming his submissive? “I don’t understand.”  
“I know. It can seem a little overwhelming but I can teach you everything. We can start as slow as you want, Princess.”  
His words calmed you a bit. It didn’t seem like he was going to do anything you didn’t want to do.  
“Okay. What does it look like to play out a scene?”  
“Technically, we’ve already done one. Me spanking you could be viewed as a scene. You took what I gave you, you were rewarded and then I took care of you. Scenes can be that simple or they can last much longer and be more…intense.”  
You gulped at the thought of what intense meant.  
“How intense?”  
“Only as intense as you can handle. At any point, you can stop the scene. If things reach a level you don’t enjoy, we will have a safe word that will end the scene abruptly.”

You chewed on your nail mulling things over. If this was the only way you could get your fix of your Supreme Leader, you figured it was at least worth trying but would you be able to handle it. You glanced around the room again taking in everything he may want you to try. 

Kylo came behind you and held your waist with one hand as the other slid up the side your neck and tilted it. His lips grazed over the exposed flesh and he began kissing and sucking lightly. You closed your eyes and reveled in the feeling of contact.  
“What do you say, Princess? Do you want to play with me?”  
Well if he put it like that. “Mmm. Yes”  
“Yes what?”  
“Yes, Sir.”  
Kylo’s kisses became more fervent and his hand tightened on your hip. He spoke seductivley in your ear.  
“Good girl. Now choose a safe word. Something you would never say randomly while receiving pleasure and something easy to remember.”  
“I-I can’t think of one.”  
“That’s okay. How about we just use the word ‘red’ for now? You can change it if you’d like later. Just let me know if you do.”  
“Okay. Can we play now?”

Kylo let out a deep laugh and turned you to face him.  
“Such a needy girl. Do you want to play with this?” He held up the crop you were looking at earlier. Although you felt some fear looking at it, you felt safe with Kylo right now. He hadn’t forced you into anything and he was being so patient with you and your questions. Well, that and you wanted him so badly it was already causing your panties to dampen.  
“Yes, Sir.”  
“Get undressed and kneel on the bed.”  
You quickly did as you were told and watched as Kylo went to a small dresser to pull something out. When he arrived at the bed you saw he was holding a chain and two leather cuffs.  
“What are you going to do with those?”  
“Give me your hands.”

You reluctantly gave him your hands and he wasted no time putting the cuffs on which were surprisingly soft as they were lined with a comfortable padding. He then took the chain and ran it through the rings attached to the cuffs and lifted your hands above your head to attach the rest of the chain to the rings on the top of the metal frame. Your arms were now outstretched in a V formation leaving you feeling completely exposed and vulnerable. The fear began creeping it’s way back in but, as if he could sense it, Kylo kissed your forehead and cupped your cheek. 

“It will be okay, Princess. Remember your safe word and give your trust to me.”  
You took a deep breath and nodded into his hand. 

Kylo grabbed the crop and twisted it around in his hand. He approached you and touched your skin with the leather as light as a feather. He started at the side of your neck, circled around your chest and then moved to the side of your breast. The sensation was sending tingles all over your body and you closed your eyes to lean into the feeling. 

The crop grazed over your hardened nipple and then went down your torso and on your inner thigh. You opened your eyes just in time to watch Kylo run the crop in between your legs and over your needy cunt. 

“Is this making you wet, Princess? Do you like being fully exposed to me like this?”  
“Yes. Yes, Sir I do.”  
“Good. Now, I am going to show you what a crop feels like. I won’t do too much since this is your first time. I won’t always go this easy on you though.”  
You nodded with understanding.  
Kylo went behind you where you couldn’t see him. He didn’t do anything for what felt like forever and the anticipation was driving you insane. All of the sudden, you felt it.

THWACK!  
The crop landed harshly on your butt causing a slight stinging sensation.  
“Ah!” The pain wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. It was the shock of it hitting you that made you cry out. The pain was similar to his spanking just more targeted.  
THWACK!  
This time the crop landed on your back which hurt a little more but was still tolerable.  
THWACK! THWACK!  
“Ahh shit!” Kylo landed two hits in the same spot he hit the first time. The stinging was much stronger now but that’s when you felt that familiar feeling come over you. The same feeling you felt when he had spanked you. The pain was stirring up a strong arousal in your core.  
THWACK!  
“Ahh! Mmm!” This time you couldn’t help but moan and Kylo made a sound of approval behind you.  
“There’s my good little pain slut. I knew you’d like it.”

Kylo snaked a hand around you and grabbed one of your breasts kneading it roughly in his palm and then pinched at your nipple. You let out another moan. How did he know how to get you like this so quickly? It’s as if he could read your body like a book. 

He let go of your nipple and continued with the crop, each hit getting more and more painful. Your arms were beginning to get sore from being held up this long but you remembered last time when he told you that if you did well, you would be rewarded and you knew whatever the reward was this time, it would be worth it. 

After one last hit, Kylo put the crop down and brought his chest to your back.  
“Good girl. You did so good for me.” He dove his hand down your torso and slid it in between your legs. “Mmm. You’re so wet. Tell me why you’re so wet.”  
His fingers played at your entrance and you could hear the sound of your arousal. “  
I’m wet because I want you.”  
“Oh yeah?” Kylo began rubbing your clit causing you to rock forward against your restrained arms and moan.  
Kylo moved his hand but you could feel the force still rubbing you deliciously in his absence. He unhooked your cuffs from the chains allowing you to put your sore arms down and he stood up to disrobe. 

You realized at this moment that you had never actually seen him fully undressed and you licked your lips in anticipation of seeing him. 

The force left your clit and Kylo laughed raising his brow.”  
“Enjoying the show?”  
You couldn’t help but giggle lightly but being caught ogling him even after all you two had already done was still enough to embarrass you.  
“Sorry, Sir.”  
You took him in a little longer. He had several scars scattered about his chiseled torso and abs along with the same kind of freckles on his face. You briefly wondered how he got each scar but realized you probably didn’t want to know. He was notorious for a reason.  
“Mmm. No need to apologize, Princess. Now open those pretty legs of yours and let me fuck that pussy.”

You got down on your back and opened your legs for him. He crawled onto the bed while stroking himself and lowered himself on top of you grazing your entrance with his tip. 

“I went easy on you with the crop, but I’m not going easy on you with this.”  
“Good.”  
Kylo rammed himself into you causing you to yell out and grip onto the bed sheet as hard as you could. Kylo’s hand found your neck and squeezed while his other hand attacked your nipple. 

You had never experienced sex like this. It was so carnal and rough but your bodies felt so perfectly in sync. 

Kylo moved the hand off your neck allowing to breath in more easily and his thumb rubbed your bottom lip before hooking it in your mouth forcing you to open it slightly. The sight seemed to have an effect on Kylo and he pulled out of you only to lift you up by the waist and flip you over on your hands and knees and ram himself back into you. 

His hand smacked you hard on your ass in the same spot he spent the majority of the time with the crop causing you to curse under your breath and flinch away. He pulled strongly at your waist ensuring that you wouldn’t be able to wiggle away from his thrusts and the force returned to your clit. He grabbed a fist full of your hair and pulled your head back. 

“Ahh! Mmm! Right there!” Every sensation was driving you closer and closer to the edge.  
“You like when I’m rough, huh? You take this cock so well. Keep taking it, slut.”  
“Mmm yes Sir!” 

Kylo pulled you up so you were completely on your knees and your back connected with him. His dick was impossibly deep in this position and he kept thrusting into you just as hard as he was before. Your walls tightened around him alerting both of you that you wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. 

You expected Kylo to tell you not to come yet but to your surprise, he said the opposite.  
“That’s right. Come on me, Princess. I want to feel you come for me.”  
With that your body exploded in pleasure and your release racked through your body. You felt Kylo’s come fill you as his orgasm came over him as well. 

You both collapsed on the bed breathing heavily reveling in your shared pleasure.  
“Holy shit. That was-“ You couldn’t think of a word that could describe how amazing that all was. It was like every time you and Kylo had done anything, it just kept getting even better and you had no clue how that was possible since every time was the best. 

Kylo looked over at you laughing.  
“So I guess that means our arrangement is up to your satisfaction?”  
You knew you felt satisfied in the moment but there was still that part of you that wondered if you’d be satisfied with this arrangement of his outside of this room. Hopefully this was enough.  
“Yes it is.”


	7. You’re Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an intense night, you wake up late and Kylo Ren is not about to let you get away with it.

Knock knock knock

“Miss Y/N? Miss Y/N? Do you think she’s alive in there?”  
“Of course she is, Corr! Knock harder, like this!”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!

The loud knocks radiated through your head as you abruptly shot up in your bed. You had slept in! You made your way over to the door groaning as you began to feel how sore your body was from your, well, interesting night with the Supreme Leader. 

Upon opening the door you noticed that Corr and Sion had dressed themselves surprisingly well without your guidance. You also notice that they were both looking up at you as if you had two heads.

“Wow.” Sion said taking in your appearance. “You look tired.”  
“Sion! Remember what Mrs. Baize told us about telling girls that they look tired.” He attempted to say that last part quietly but you definitely heard it causing you to let out a light laugh. 

“I am tired. I’m sorry though. I didn’t realize that I forgot to set my alarm. Is Mrs. Baize here for breakfast?”

“Yup! She’s making us some breakfast wraps that smell delicious!” You could practically see Corr salivating as he thought about food. The boys definitely enjoyed eating probably even more than they enjoyed playing with their action figures. 

“Okay. Head to the dining room and let her know I will be there shortly. I just need to get ready really quick.”

Sion and Corr ran toward the dining room as you closed the door and went to your bathroom to brush your teeth. As you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you realized that Sion was definitely not mistaken when he said you looked tired. You would have to break out the strong concealer to hide those dark circles under your eyes. You quickly grabbed your small make up bag and began applying the bare minimum. Staring at your reflection, your mind began to wander to the previous night. 

The previous night:

After Kylo had given you the best orgasm of your existence, you had laid in the bed with him, catching your breath and trying to make sense of what had just transpired but your mind was such a fog as exhaustion began to take over. You had hoped that you would both fall asleep right then and there but Kylo eventually got up and helped you get cleaned up and then handed you your clothes. You had taken them from him with a confused expression to which he just said “You should get back to your room. It’s getting late.” Then turned and went to his own connected room. After that, it was kind of a blur. You had gotten dressed, awkwardly headed past him and went to your room where you fell asleep basically as soon as your head hit the pillow. 

Back to present day:

Now that you had a moment to think, it definitely was not the way you had wanted the night to end. There seemed to be so much passion and connection between the two of you when you were having sex but then the switch got flipped again and Kylo went back to being cold and guarded. Since you had agreed to this arrangement, you figured that this was something you would just have to get used to. Unless. Unless maybe he would break out of it over time. Maybe you could get him to open up a little more and be a little more sensitive. 

“Ha!” You couldn’t help but laugh at your own naive thought. It seemed like every so often you had to remind yourself of who you were dealing with here. The man couldn’t even have sex without a little bit of violence involved. Fun violence but violence none the less. Was a person like that even capable of being more sensitive?

You hurried to get dressed and ran a brush through your hair giving yourself one last look over in the mirror. This would have to do. You didn’t want to risk being even later than you were. 

As you turned the corner into the dining room, your heart sank. Kylo was sitting at the table with the boys looking right at you and he did not look happy. 

“Miss Y/N. You’re late. Is there a reason why you think you are exempt from following the schedule I provided?”

You audibly gulped. “No-no sir. I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear.”

His eyes burned into yours with a glimmer of lust but that was overshadowed by his annoyance toward you in the moment.   
“It is Saturday. Your only tasks are to get up with the boys, help them with breakfast and then drop them off for the day. If you can’t even handle that, I can’t imagine you having the competence to take care of them all week.” At this, he sat back in his chair, crossing his large arms around his chest with an eyebrow raised. He was waiting for your response, testing you to ensure you were still serious about taking care of his kids. 

You took a deep breath and stood up straighter gaining some resolve before responding. “I do have the competence. As I said before, it won’t happen again. I will make sure of it.”

“See to it that it doesn’t. Corr. Sion. Time to grab your bags and head out.”   
The kids went to the door where their shoes and bags were and Kylo stood up and began walking toward you. Once he was close enough that nobody would hear him, he whispered to you “We aren’t finished with this.” Then he went into his office and closed the door. 

You stood there for a moment with wide eyes and your nerves shooting through the roof. Should you feel excited or scared? Probably both. 

“Ready!”  
“Ready!”  
The boys were standing by the door waiting for you so you snapped out of your swirling thoughts of concern and went out the door with them greeting Vicrul as you began heading towards their friend’s residence. 

—

After dropping off Corr and Sion, you and Vicrul made your way back to the home in mostly silence. That was until he looked down at you and let out a chuckle. 

“What are you laughing at?”  
“Oh nothing. I just can’t help but notice you are walking weird. Rough night?”

You stopped in your tracks and glared at him. Was he implying that he knew what was going on? 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You began walking again trying to focus on being as normal as possible but Vicrul continued to laugh. 

“Sure you don’t. You don’t know much about the Force, do you?”

You didn’t. You only knew what Kylo had shown you. He showed that he was capable of sensing your energy and perhaps even reading your thoughts. He also used the force on your clit but you were pretty sure that’s not was Vicrul was referring to at this moment.

“Only very little.” You confessed. 

“Well, something you probably should probably be made aware of is that all of us knights are force sensitive and we all have a special bond, mine being the strongest out of the group with Master Ren’s. This bond allows us to communicate without having to be face to face and it also allows us to sense each other and how we are feeling. Do you understand?”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to understand the complexity of the Force. You had snuck books as a kid, only when you knew Zilturik wouldn’t catch you, that told stories of magic and fantasy but those stories were fake. You had witnessed the Force now and that was definitely no fake magic. It was real. So if what Vicrul was saying was real, he could-

“You know.”

“Yup. Master Ren didn’t really try to hide it.” He chuckled again watching you under his helmet as the wheels in your head were turning. Your cheeks warmed and you knew the embarrassment was all over your face. 

“No need to be embarrassed. Ren needed to get laid. He’s a cranky bastard when he’s pent up.”

“Lovely. Glad I could be of service.” You wondered if that was really all this was to Kylo. A quick lay to make him feel less cranky. Then another thought popped into your mind.

“Is this how it’s been with all the other nannies then? Is that why he’s gone through several? He gets tired of them?”

“Wow. Jump to conclusions much?”

You raised your eyebrow at him and said “well?”

Vircul sighed and took a moment to remove his helmet so you could see his serious face. He was no longer joking around. 

“No.” He held eye contact with you so you could see if he was being truthful or not. “Ren isn’t like that. None of the other nannies lived up to his expectations when it came to taking care of his sons, that’s why they didn’t last. His highest priority is ensuring his sons are being raised right. He’s barely hooked up with anyone since the tragedy and he definitely hasn’t done it with the same person more than once.”

This took you aback. Kylo Ren was the most powerful man in the galaxy and he definitely was far from ugly. You had assumed that a man like that would’ve had the women swarming all over him and wouldn’t be swatting them away. Also, you had now had sex with him twice, three times if you count what he did with his fingers, and it didn’t seem like you two would be stopping any time soon due to the arrangement you both had come to last night. What had made him decide to do this with you when he hadn’t done it with anyone in years?

“Try not to drive yourself crazy overthinking everything, Miss Y/N. Let things play out the way they’re meant to and keep having fun.” He winked at you before putting his helmet back on and making his way back to the front door. 

You remembered what Kylo had last said to you about not being done and wondered if he was waiting for you behind that door and if he was, what was he waiting to do to you?   
You braced yourself, said goodbye to Vicrul and opened the door. 

Mrs. Baize had left for the day and Kylo was nowhere to be seen. His office door was closed so you figured he may be working but you weren’t sure if he wanted you to meet with him or if he planned on finding you later. You decided on the latter and started heading to your room. 

“Miss Y/N.” You turned around to see Kylo leaning on the doorframe of his office. His posture was relaxed but his face was anything but. He looked pissed. “I believe we have unfinished business.”

—

A few moments later you found yourself in Kylo’s special little room of torture waiting for him to speak. All he had told you so far was to stand with your hands behind your back and look at the floor. He was pacing in front of you, heavy boots thudding loudly on the floor back and forth over and over again.

He stopped suddenly and walked up to you so closely that those boots now connected to the tip of your sneakers. You could hear him breathing in and out and you wanted to look up at him so badly to gauge his expression but you did as you were told. No need to make this worse. 

“Do you remember what our arrangement is or have you already forgotten?”

You opened your mouth and started to answer but he beat you to it.

“Outside of this room, I am your boss and you are expected to do your job. What we do in this room should not interfere with how you preform your work tasks. If that is not possible, then neither is this arrangement.” 

He grabbed your chin and harshly pulled your face up to look at him.

“I’ve been thinking all morning about how to punish you. You need to be taught a lesson so this kind of insubordinance doesn’t happen again, don’t you?”

You tried to look away, unsure of what to say and scared of whatever he was planning but he pulled your chin again forcing you to make eye contact.

“Don’t you?” This time he said it with more anger. You knew you had to answer. 

“Yes, Sir.”

“Yes, Sir what?”

“Yes, Sir I need to be punished to teach me a lesson.” He let go of your chin and you looked back down to the ground.

“Good. Now I want you to strip down all the way and get to your knees with your hands behind your back until you are told otherwise.” Kylo walked right past you and out the door shutting it behind him. 

You abruptly did as you were told and were on your knees waiting for him to return. 

Waiting…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you all waiting but I felt like the punishment I have in mind requires it’s own chapter. Stay tuned.


	8. Waiting pt.1 (The Lesson)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the waiting for Y/N pay off? What punishment did Kylo have in mind?

You had been on your knees, naked and waiting for what felt like forever. There was no clock in the room so there was no way to know exactly how long it had been but you did know that your knees were sore and would most likely be bruised by the time you got up, whenever that would be. 

You wanted to follow Kylo Ren’s directions no matter what discomfort you were in now though. You wanted to make him proud and you wanted to show that you were strong and able to ride out the punishment he had in mind.   
All you wanted at this point was to hear the words “good girl” out of his mouth and to feel his body against yours again. 

Finally you heard some rustling behind you as the door opened and closed and the familiar sound of Kylo’s boots made their way into the room. 

Then an unfamiliar sound of something clanking, it sounded metallic, came from the side of the room where you figured Kylo was gathering some kind of tools for what he had planned. Ice cold fear hit you in the chest as you wondered what it could be. The last time he actually punished you he had only used his hand. Now that he was really mad at you, what would he do? 

Kylo continued to rummage around in the drawers and you saw his boots cross the room over to the bed where he tossed some things before making his way back to you. 

“Look at me.”  
Your eyes shot up and met his, scared of what you’d find but were surprised to see him looking much more calm and collected. It calmed your nerves ever so slightly to see that the angry fire behind his eyes had been extinguished. 

“Here is how this is going to work.” He made his way even closer to you slowly. “I’m going to take you to the edge. Over. And. Over. Again.”  
He said each word deliberately and each time being said with more lust in his tone. 

Okay, this didn’t sound like too bad of a punishment, right?

“But every time you reach your edge, I’m going to stop.”

You let out an audible whine which made him let out a low, menacing chuckle. 

“Don’t worry, Princess. You know that if you do as I say and you take what I want you to take, I will make you feel better than you ever have before.”

You nodded thinking back to each time he had done something painful or trying. There was always some kind of reward in the end. Kylo had told you when explaining the arrangement to you that this is how it would be. He’d do what he wanted to you and then would take care of you. Even though this was all new and scary, you trusted that he would keep his word. He hadn’t faltered on his word before. 

“Come to the bed.”  
You stood up on shaky legs and glanced at your knees. Sure enough they were an angry red with some indents from the ground. You would’ve inspected them further but you knew better than to keep Kylo waiting, funny since he didn’t care about keeping you waiting. 

When you made your way over to the edge of the mattress your eyes widened at the tools laying out. 

You recognized the leather handcuffs from before but there was also another set of cuffs, a metal beam with four chains attached and a large wand vibrator all side by side. 

Kylo eyed you, watching you slowly take in what was before you but you still didn’t know exactly what it all meant. 

“What is that bar?”  
“Remember how you are to address me in this room.”   
SMACK!

You jumped and yelped feeling the sudden smack to your ass. It definitely took you by surprise. 

“I’m sorry, Sir. I meant, what is that bar used for, Sir?”  
“That’s better. It’s called a spreader bar. Let me show you. Get on the bed and sit back by the headboard.”  
“Yes, Sir.”

You crawled your way up to the headboard, careful not to move any of the things Kylo had meticulously laid out and sat up. Kylo climbed his way over to you and put the cuffs on your wrists and around your ankles then grabbed the bar, spread your legs and positioned it in between your ankles. He then attached the ankle cuffs to each side of the bar and moved up to attach your wrists to the middle of the bar. 

“Now, try to shut your legs.”  
You tried to no avail. The bar was secure and there was no way around it. Now you understood the name. It was going to force you to keep your legs spread. He had full control of your legs and arms. 

Kylo let out another low chuckle as the realization washed over your face.   
“Now lay back and relax, Princess. This is going to be fun.”

Kylo began running his rough hands up and down your bound legs and began massaging your thighs making sure his thumbs were getting closer to your spread pussy with each rub. The sensation was already turning you on and you shut your eyes anticipating feeling his touch where you needed it most. 

He leaned in and took a hardened nipple into his mouth and swirled his touch around it as he sucked. 

Then, without warning, two fingers rammed harshly into you pumping in and out with no abandon.   
“Ahhh! Fuck!” You began to move your hips trying to meet each thrust as Kylo skillfully curled his fingers to meet your sensitive g-spot and the Force began attacking your clit. 

Kylo hummed against your breast with satisfaction and then released your nipple only to tease you further with his words.  
“Wow. You’re always a needy little whore for me, aren’t you? Desperate for whatever I choose to give you.”

“Mmm yes, Sir.”  
“Always so wet and ready for me too?”  
“Always....always, Sir. Ahh yes, right there! Mmmm!”

Kylo plucked at the nipple he had abandoned and twisted it deliciously in between his thumb and index finger and smiled when your jaw dropped open and you moaned loudly. You continued meeting his thrusts, allowing all of the pleasure to take over your senses. You came undone so easily when it came to Kylo. He already knew exactly where to touch you and how to turn you into a puddle at his feet. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced. No person in the galaxy had ever gotten you like this and you never wanted it to stop. 

He could feel your inner walls tightening harder around his fingers. He knew you were close and he knew it was far from time for him to let you finish so he abruptly pulled his fingers out and stopped the movements of the Force on your clit.

“What?! No! Please, Sir. Please don’t stop! I’m so close.”  
“I know. Not yet.”

If you had control of your arms, you were sure that at that moment you would’ve crossed them around your chest and had a full blown pout on your face. How many times was he going to do this? It had only been once so far and by the smug look on his face, you were sure this was probably far from over. 

“This isn’t fair.”  
“Is that your way of saying you want to safe word out? We don’t have to finish this if you aren’t competent enough to ride out your punishment.”

There was that word again: Competent. He had said it earlier when scolding you about being late and it caused the same defensive feeling in your chest as it had before. 

“I am more than competent, Sir, and I am far from saying my safe word. I’m just annoyed.”  
Kylo’s eyebrow shot up in shock at your tone when you addressed him. He hadn’t seen this more defensive, bratty side of you and he wasn’t sure if he liked it.   
“You’d be wise to watch your tone with me. This can go on all day if it needs to. Is that what you want?”

You gulped and shook your head. You knew that you shouldn’t push it especially when you were already in such a compromising position. “No, Sir. I’m sorry.”

“Good. Every time you get ‘annoyed’ just imagine how annoyed I was this morning when I found you slacking on the job I hired you for. Remember that this is a punishment. A punishment you earned. Now either take it like the good little slut I know you can be or-“

“I’ll take it, Sir. I promise. I will be good.” You didn’t even want to hear what the end of his sentence would be. You didn’t want there to be an ‘or’. You just wanted to make it through this and prove to him that you were capable of what he needed. 

He eyed you for a moment and then nodded slightly.   
“Very well. Let’s continue then. Are you ready?”  
“Yes, Sir.”

Kylo reached behind him where the wand toy was and brought it to life. The powerful buzzing sound filled the room and you licked your lips in anticipation. Kylo’s eyes burned with desire as he watched your tongue graze over your lips. You didn’t know it, but he didn’t know how long he could take this either. He loved watching you writhe under his touch. He loved seeing you so defenseless just giving yourself over to him, trusting him with your pleasure, your pain, your fears and your desires. All he really wanted in that moment was to take you on his cock, but you needed to learn your lesson first. That was his priority in the moment. 

He brought the large head of the wand directly down to your most sensitive spot, directly on top of your pulsing bundle of nerves and you cried out at the return of pleasure. You were already so sensitive from earlier that the feeling was already driving you closer to your edge. Kylo leaned in and began kissing the side of your neck. The soft kisses trailed up to your ear and he grazed the lobe with his teeth. 

He spoke lowly and seductively directly into your ear. “Do you like that, Princess?”  
You were practically panting as the sensation took over every coherent thought in your brain.   
“Nnnghh…yes…yes…yes, Sir.”  
“Oh you do.”

Then, just as you began to feel the coil of pleasure start to peak, he quickly removed the wand and tsk’d.   
“Still not yet.”

The frustration simmered in your eyes as you glared into his. The satisfaction on his face made you want to smack it right off. How could he be enjoying torturing you like this? A quick glance around the room you were in reminded you that this is what he was into and to be fair, you had been warned, but still, being denied a release was just cruel. You didn’t think you’d ever want to do that to him. 

The sound of buzzing filling the room again snapped you out of your thoughts. 

“Oh no. Please, not again!”  
“Why not?”  
“Because...I...umm.”  
“If you aren’t using your safe word then I will be proceeding until I’m sure you have learned your lesson.”

The wand met your clit once more and Kylo began to knead your breast in his free hand. You threw your head back and moaned so loud that it almost resembled a roar. It was part pleasure and part frustration. You tried to close your legs again, momentarily forgetting that you were cuffed to the spreader and Kylo laughed at the failed attempt. You knew that if there was any way out of this, it was to beg. Kylo seemed to enjoy having you beg and it would hopefully show that you had learned the lesson he wanted you to. 

“Please, Ky-“ Crap. You forgot for a second not to use his name. He didn’t seem to notice luckily. His eyes were glued to where the wand was attacking your swollen clit. “Um I mean please, Sir. I…ahhh stars…I…”

“You what?’  
“I’m sorry. I learned my lesson. Mmmm! I promise. I learned my lesson.”

Kylo looked back up to your face and studied your eyes.   
“Are you sure? I don’t intend on dealing with this a second time.”  
“Yes, Sir. Yes! I am sure. Please.”

Kylo turned off the wand once more causing you to sigh in defeat but what he did next surprised you. He began undoing your restraints and removed the spreader from in between your legs. Your body was so grateful to be able to move and stretch again after being stuck in the same position this whole time. Kylo set everything on the ground and began disrobing, his eyes never leaving yours and yours only leaving his when he pulled his briefs off allowing his rock hard member to bobble out. You hadn’t even thought he would be aroused. You figured this was all just pure punishment to him but the way he was looking at you while he slowly moved his large hand up and down his shaft as he made his way back to the bed said otherwise. 

“Good girl, Princess. I’m glad you learned your lesson.”  
He climbed on top of you and began kissing your chest and running his hand up to your neck and to the side of your face. His eyes met yours again and you wished with all your might that he would finally kiss you. He had done so much to you but kissing seemed off limits for some reason. His eyes flicked down to your lips as you bit down on your lower lip. Was he thinking about actually doing it?

“You did so well. Now I’m really going to make my Princess feel good. What do you want?”

You knew you wanted to come but now with Kylo hovering above you, mere inches from your face, eyeing your lips, you knew what you wanted to ask for and so you did.

“Kiss me.”


	9. Waiting Pt.2: The Pull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You asked Kylo Ren to kiss you. How will he react?

“Kiss me.” You could hardly believe the words came out of your own mouth and now that they had, you watched nervously as Kylo widened his eyes in surprise. You had no way of knowing that Kylo hadn’t kissed anyone since Rey died and hadn’t kissed anyone before her either. To him, kissing was far more intimate and vulnerable than sex and those two things were not his strong suit. Rey had been able to pull that vulnerability out of him but, as far as he was concerned, that vulnerability had died with her. He was sure that he would never feel it again.

“Why would you want that?” Kylo was watching your face intently trying to figure out where the request even came from. He had just punished you, brought you to the edge multiple times and then robbed you of your orgasms. Why would you want a kiss from him now? 

You bit your lip again trying to mull over a response that would make sense to him and to yourself but really it was as simple as “Well, we have already done so much together. I just thought...It just feels weird that we haven’t kissed yet, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t think it feels weird. Kissing has no place in an arrangement such as ours.”

“Oh. I um…sorry. I wasn’t aware. I guess I’m still trying to get used to these things.” You averted your eyes from his as your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. You were sure that Kylo would be getting off of you and telling you to go back to your room any second now but instead there was a long silence as he continued watching you with his brow furrowed in thought. 

As much as Kylo had felt so sure before that kissing was completely off limits, he couldn’t help but feel something as he watched you go from being confident enough to ask for what you wanted from him to shutting down and embarrassment. He didn’t like seeing you like this. Like you were disappointed with his answer. Disappointed in him. You had just given yourself so fully to him and you were only asking for one thing in return. He had promised to make you feel good after all. 

Kylo sighed and ran a hand through his raven locks before taking your face in his hand and directing it back toward his. You tried not to make eye contact but with how close you two were, it was kind of hard to look at anything else. 

“Will a kiss make you happy, Princess?”  
“Does it matter?” It came out a little more snippy than you wanted it to but it didn’t seem to phase him.  
“Yes. It does matter.”

So he cared about your happiness after all. He could’ve fooled you. As you gazed into his eyes, you realized that it really would make you happy though. It would show you that maybe there was more to all of this. More to him. Maybe he could open up to you and you two could actually explore this weird pull you two clearly had toward each other. You knew from the beginning that it was a long shot but something in you kept telling you to not lose all hope and to continue to try. 

“It would make me happy.”

Kylo’s eyes flicked down to your lips as he licked his own.   
“You did such a good job taking your punishment for me. You deserve to feel good and be happy at least this once…as a reward.”  
It seemed as if he was talking to himself more than to you. It was as if he was justifying what he was about to do for his own sake. You could see some kind of internal battle clear as day on his face and it made you want to reach out and stroke his face to calm him but you didn’t know how he’d react to that in this moment so you stayed still and waited to see what he would choose. 

Kylo leaned in slowly. He wasn’t sure if this would be a mistake or not but, in that moment, he felt the pull and decided to go for it. 

As your lips finally connected, you instantly knew you were right about how you felt. You knew that there was something there. This couldn’t just be some kind of sexual transaction between the two of you. It was something more. Could Kylo feel it as well?

The kiss started out slow and unsure but it quickly became heated and passionate, reigniting the flame in your core, making you want more of him. You could feel how much Kylo relaxed into the kiss. If he felt unsure at first, he certainly didn’t feel that way anymore. He began running his hands all along your body starting at your waist and moving up your side and landing on your breast which he squeezed lightly before moving up to your neck where he caressed the sensitive flesh on the side with his thumb. 

You could feel his cock pressed hard against your belly and you reached down in-between your bodies to touch it and bring it to your needy entrance but before you could, Kylo broke the kiss and said “No, Princess. I want to do that so I can watch your face as I enter you.” He pushed himself up and positioned himself in between your legs.   
“Look at how wet you are. You are practically dripping all over the bed. So needy, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” You were already breathing heavy just from the kiss and now all you wanted was for him to enter you. You couldn’t wait any longer especially after all the denied orgasms. 

“Tell me. Tell me how needy you are.”

“Please, Sir. I need you! Please. I need you to fill me up.” You felt like you would burst into tears if he made you wait any longer and he seemed to get a good read of your desperation because he moved his cock over to your entrance and began ever so slowly pushing himself in deeper and deeper. He was still drawing everything out, enjoying how needy it made you. He watched as your head went back and your mouth went agape as he filled you more and more. 

Once he was fully inside of you, he lifted up your waist to get you as close as possible as he began ramming into you, pulling your hips to meet each thrust. Your hands gripped tightly to the sheet on either sides of your head. You were completely enraptured by the sensation of every movement he made and the sounds escaping his lips as he watched himself plunge into you. 

“Your cunt feels so good, Princess. I think about this pretty cunt all day. Do you know that?”

You let out a low whimper at his confession. “Mmm I think about you fucking me all day too. Ahh it feels so good.”

He grunted and slowed down his pace slightly. “Turn around. On your hands and knees. I want to fuck you from behind.”

He slid out of you causing you to whine at the momentary loss of contact but you quickly turned around and got into position. Kylo wasn’t taking it slow anymore. He roughly grabbed onto your waist and slammed into you causing you to yell out string of profanities and moans. 

Kylo moved one hand to your ass and squeezed it before landing his hand down on it with a swift smack. It wasn’t the same sensation you got during a punishment. This time, the pain mixed with the pleasure beautifully. You had begun to fully understand Kylo’s draw to this type of sex now. It involved more of your senses creating even more pleasure in return. You didn’t think you’d ever be able to go back to regular, vanilla sex. Kylo had ruined you in that way but you weren’t complaining. 

His hand moved again around to your sensitive clit and he began rubbing it in circles with his skilled fingers. You were writhing and panting. All of that stimulation earlier with no release made your body want a release even more. You could feel the need intensifying and building up to an impending orgasm. 

As if knowing you were going to come soon, Kylo stopped rubbing you and moved his large hand up your torso and to your neck. Fear crept up in your mind again thinking he was still punishing you and not going to allow your release but before you could complain, he pulled you up to where you were on your knees with your back up against his chest with his hand still wrapped around your neck. This new position made you feel more full than ever before. His large cock was stretching you as you squeezed against it. 

His hand found your jaw. He moved your face up to meet his and he kissed you fervently catching you off guard. You didn’t think he would kiss you again but here he was kissing you without you even having to ask this time. 

“You want me to let you come now, Princess?”  
“Yes, please. I need to come.”

Kylo went back to kissing you and you felt the force begin working your clit again. You moaned into his mouth as his thrusts became even harder and faster. This was perfect. 

You felt your climax approaching quickly and within seconds the bliss washed over you as your body finally got it’s release. The orgasm was so intense from being teased so much earlier that Kylo had to hold you up as your body succumbed to it. 

You felt as Kylo came inside of you and he began to slow his thrusts down to a stop. He gently guided you to lay down on your side and then laid down on his side facing you. You were both breathing heavily, chests heaving as you gazed into each other’s eyes wordlessly. This wasn’t like the sex you two shared before and you both knew that but neither of you knew how to put it into words. It was as confusing as it was amazing. 

You wanted to figure it out but in this moment, your mind and body were both exhausted. Your eyelids began to feel heavy as your body fully came down from the pleasure it had just experienced. Kylo was still watching you intently as your blinks became slower and the exhaustion won over you. You fell asleep peacefully and in bed with the Supreme Leader by your side for the first time. You’d have to try to figure everything out tomorrow.


	10. Seeing The Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the night you had with Kylo, you thought everything was looking up. Little did you know that you’d be seeing him a different light mere hours later. How will you react to seeing the monster?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning.   
> This chapter is a little different than the previous ones. It includes:   
> -Violence  
> -Blood  
> -A very brief mention of sexual abuse  
> \- Kylo being not so nice

You woke up to the mattress shifting besides you. Your eyelids were still heavy and your body felt like you had gotten run over by a freaking bantha. Forcing your eyes into a squint as you took in the light in the room, you saw Kylo gathering his clothes from the floor and heading toward the door leading to his room. 

“What time is it?”   
Your groggy voice seemed to take Kylo by surprise. He turned around to face you with his brow furrowed.   
“Almost 5.”   
You ran your hand over your face trying to wake up further. You never woke up this early by choice. “So early. How are you even awake? I’m exhausted.”  
Kylo stood up straighter and cleared his throat answering your question in a strictly professional tone.   
“I have business to attend to and I’m sure it would be in your best interest to get a head start on the day as well. You need to pick up Sion and Corr at 7:30 today. I want them to get to training early. Bring them directly to the gym.”

With that, he quickly turned back around and exited the room. You wondered how he could go back to being all business so quickly after the night you shared. You had not only kissed but slept in the same bed. Both things were not part of your original agreement and that had to mean something, right? 

After a few moments you heard the sounds of Kylo’s boots heavily stomping on the floor, his bedroom door opening and then closing shut. You sighed and sat up too quickly. Your body ached all over especially your legs and knees. All that kneeling was sure to make walking more difficult today. 

Waking up early probably was beneficial because at least you wouldn’t have to rush to get ready and a warm bath sounded heavenly for soothing your sore muscles. You stood up, gathered your things and went straight to your bathroom for some much needed relaxation. 

———

The bath helped ease the pain some but as you finished getting dressed, you winced each time you had to lift your legs to put your pants on. Normally the pain would be upsetting but it only made your mind swirl with emotions, most of which were pleasant. Even through the punishment, you felt like you were getting closer and closer to hopefully breaking down some of the Supreme Leader’s walls. He had shown pride in you. Maybe even a slight moment of admiration even. 

You checked your data pad for the time and saw it was 7:00. Remembering what Kylo had said that morning before leaving, you decided to get a head start on picking up the boys from their friend’s home. You stopped by the kitchen really quick to grab a piece of fruit for a breakfast on the go before exiting the front door where Vicrul was waiting to escort you. 

“Good morning, Vicrul.”  
“Good morning....Princess.”   
You tensed at the use of the pet name Kylo called you and Vicrul laughed watching how it affected you.   
“Ha. Ha. Very funny.”  
At this point you realized the knights would always know more than you’d like but you knew you’d have to get used to it. Stupid Force.   
“Sorry. I had to.” Vicrul continued laughing as you two made your way down the halls toward the Tillo family’s home quarters. 

“You know, it’s not really fair that you know such…intimate details about me when I literally know nothing about you other than that you work for the Supreme Leader.”  
Vicrul stopped laughing and looked down at you.   
“There isn’t much to know.”   
“I doubt that. You weren’t just born and knighted, or whatever it is you guys do to get this position. You had to have had a life before this and this can’t possibly be all your life is presently. Waiting on your master’s every beck and call.”  
“Really then? I could ask you the same thing. What was your life like before coming here to ‘wait on our master’s every beck and call’?” He accentuated the last few words by making air quotes with his fingers. 

You stiffened at the question. Thoughts of Zilturik’s disgustingly sweaty hands touching your body came flooding through your head. You could almost feel it. The image of your mother walking away without even a glimpse of care or love on her face, leaving you with him, caused your eyes to sting with tears that threatened to fall. You cleared your throat and pushed the thoughts back down. You never wanted to dwell on your past ever again. It was too painful. 

“I guess you’re right. There isn’t much to know about me either. I’m here now. This is my life.”  
Vicrul took in the expressions that quickly washed over your face and realized it was best not to push any further.   
“Well, I guess I could tell you a little bit about me.”  
“Oh?” You looked up at him with your eyebrows raised. You thought the conversation would have died there.   
“Yeah.” Vicrul thought for a moment before deciding on something to tell you that would be enough to satisfy your curiosity at least for the moment. 

“Ah! I know! When I was young, I was really into fishing. I thought I would make it my profession when I grew up.”  
“Really? Why didn’t you? Being a knight is a far cry away from being a fisherman.”   
Vicrul let out a short laugh before answering.  
“One day I was fishing with my brother when I felt a strong tug on my line. It was too heavy for just me to reel it in. I was a lanky little thing at the time, so my brother stood behind me and yanked hard. Next thing I knew there was a massive fish flying directly toward my face and it hit me so hard that it knocked me out. I woke up to my brother laughing hysterically and a black eye that lasted for what felt like forever. The kids in my town and my brother never let me live that down and I realized fishing wasn’t really for me after all.”

“That’s kind of sad.”  
Vicrul chuckled.   
“No, it’s not sad. Whenever I think back to those times, it always brings a smile to my face. My brother and I had so much fun together. Too much fun really. We were always getting into some sort of trouble. Our poor mother had her hands full with us. She told me once that she hoped that one day I’d put all of my shenanigans to good use and look at me now!” He put his arms up in the air. “I’m still always getting into something but now it is for the good of the First Order. For a higher purpose.”   
You couldn’t see his face due to his helmet but you could tell by his tone that he had his signature wide grin on his face as he spoke causing you to smile as well. Imagining him as a young boy was kind of hard, especially with him referring to himself as lanky, but it sounded like he had a happy childhood, at least from this story, and that made you happy. 

“I suppose so. It all worked out in the end for you then. It’s not like you could do much fishing here anyway.”   
“Nope. Good thing.”  
You both laughed as you reached your destination. The talk with Vicrul took your mind off of your past and off of your current situation with Kylo at least in the moment. You definitely needed that. 

———

Once you and Vicrul had collected the boys and they filled you in on the fun they had the day before with Rix, you quickly made your way to the gym as you were instructed. You even made it with a few minutes to spare and you softly smiled imaging how that would please Kylo. 

As you reached out to open the doors of the private room in the gym, you heard something that stopped you cold in your tracks: a blood curtailing scream coming from within the room. Both Sion and Corr looked up at you with widened eyes. 

“What was that?” Corr got closer to you and held onto your arm clearly shaken up by the noise.   
“I…I’m not sure. Vicrul, this is the right room, right? What’s going on?”  
Vicrul sighed, removed his helmet and leaned in close to you so the boys couldn’t hear him.   
“Something is off. Master Ren seems especially on edge today. It seems like he brought a prisoner in to…to train on.”  
“What?!” You exclaimed much louder than you should have causing the boys to jump at your side. “That can’t be. His children will be in the room!”

Sion stood up straighter putting on a brave face.   
“What can’t be?”  
Vicrul leaned down and looked Sion in the eye before pulling Corr in to stand closer to his brother.   
“It seems your father is implementing a new training tool today. No need to be frightened. Now let’s get in there before we are late, right Miss Y/N?”  
You couldn’t even think of a response so you just nodded and allowed Vicrul to lead the way through the doors. 

You weren’t prepared for the sight before you. A man sat bloodied and beaten in a chair with his arms and legs restrained. Kylo stood in front of him fully clothed in his black tunic, pants, cape and helmet, looking down at him as the rest of his knights lined the wall beside him. You wanted to grab the kids and run out the door. They shouldn’t be seeing this. None of you should be seeing this. 

Kylo turned his helmeted head to look over at you all entering the room.   
“Good. You are here. Come over here, Corr. Sion.”  
The boys looked up at you with fear in their eyes. You could see wetness gathering at the edge of Corr’s eye.   
“I said come here. Now.”  
As they walked away from you and toward their father, your heart ached. You felt the need to protect them from whatever Kylo had planned. 

“What’s going on?”  
“That’s none of your concern. You can take a seat over there.” Kylo pointed to a few spare seats at the far end of the room.   
“But-“  
“Sit or leave Miss Y/N. We don’t have all day.” 

You reluctantly took a seat not wanting to leave the boys. Vicrul joined the other knights as Kylo began to speak. 

“Today you two are going to learn about interrogations. One day you will both have to exercise your power over people who defy or try to take down the First Order. Discovering their motives, plans and who they are working with or for is imperative so you can flush it out fully. Do you understand?”  
The boys nodded and Kylo continued.   
“Now, this man thought it was a good idea to steal blasters from us and try to sell them outside of here. We have reason to believe he had help stealing them. He refused to give a name when initially questioned so now we are to pull it out of him in any way we need to. Nothing is too extreme.” The man in the chair began begging.   
“Please. Please no. I have a wife. I just wanted to provide for her. I just wanted-“   
“Silence!” Kylo put a finger in the prisoner’s face. “I am talking.” He turned his attention back to Corr and Sion.   
“This time you will just watch but I expect you to be paying close attention so when the time comes that I have you do it, you will do it properly and efficiently.” 

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You knew about Kylo’s reputation and how feared he was but you didn’t think he’d have his 5 year old sons be present for something like this. This didn’t feel like the same man who you had seen tickling them and laughing with them. This didn’t feel like the man who had kissed you last night and had made you feel cared for. No. The man in your view right now seemed much more like the man you had feared he was when you found out who you’d be working for. A monster. 

Your thoughts were interrupted at the abrupt sound of Kylo’s gloved fist slamming into the face of the battered man in the chair. Blood poured from a cut above his eyebrow and splattered onto the floor near Corr’s feet. He looked down at it horrified. He had never seen this much blood in his life. He enjoyed training with his father but you could see from where you were seated the he was not even close to enjoying this. He just looked so scared. 

Kylo hit the man again in the same spot and then quickly used his other fist to strike him in his stomach causing the wind to be knocked out of him. The man lurched forward as much as he could given the restraints and tried to inhale deeply but Kylo didn’t allow that. His knee connected with the man’s nose and the whole room was filled with a revolting crunching sound. Blood ran down even more profusely and your stomach churned. You felt like you were going to be sick. 

“Tell us who you were working with!”  
“I worked alone, Supreme Leader. I swear! I-“  
The man’s words were cut off as Kylo used the force around his neck, choking him. His bloodied face was quickly going purple as he struggled to move trying to get out of Kylo’s grip. It was no use. Kylo and the Force were much stronger than his feeble attempts.   
“Tell me now before I am tempted to crush your windpipes into dust and extend the same punishment to your wife when I am finished.” 

You gasped loudly bringing your hands up to your mouth. Kylo’s head snapped up to look at you and he released the grip he had on the prisoner.  
He strode over to you and was a mere inch away from your face within seconds.   
“Is there a problem here?”  
You gulped and moved your head to look behind him where Corr and Sion were visibly trembling. Kylo grabbed your face and turned your attention back to him. Some blood smeared on your chin which caused your stomach to churn again.   
“I said is there a problem here?”  
“No, Sir….I mean…um.”  
“Speak up!”  
You composed yourself as best as you could. You had to say something. For the kids.  
“It’s just, the boys are so young. Do they really need to be around such violence? Can’t you see they are scared?”

Kylo released your face but you could feel his intense gaze still burning into you.   
“Are you questioning my methods as a father? As the Supreme Leader?”  
“No, Sir. I just-“  
“I’d hope not, Miss Y/N because that could end very badly for you. Very badly.”  
Any strength you had mustered to speak up died in your throat and was replaced with fear and dread. You had now witnessed what Kylo Ren did to people who went against him and you knew he could easily do the same to you if not worse. You looked down at your lap where your hands were shaking.   
“Yes, Sir.”

Kylo stood straight up to where he was towering over you.   
“You are dismissed for now. Go back to the home and try to remember your place. I will have one of the knights escort Corr and Sion back when we are finished with today’s training. Be sure to have snapped out of whatever came over you just now by the time they return.” 

He turned around and went back over to the prisoner and the boys. You gave them one more look of concern before quickly running out the door and towards the home. 

Tears blurred your vision as you thought about the scene you had just left the boys in. You wanted so badly to take them with you but now they were alone having to watch Kylo’s wrath in front of their innocent eyes and being expected to one day be just as ruthless as their father. He was training them to become him. You didn’t want to imagine them ever being capable of such violence. They were too pure for that. 

You wondered how Kylo came to be this way. Was he ever once as pure as Corr and Sion were? Did someone turn him into the way he was now? He couldn’t have always been so ruthless. He did have a wife at one point. Surely he was capable of love and someone who is capable of love couldn’t be a monster like the way Kylo had just been. 

You stopped walking and took a deep breath. That was it. You needed to know about the time when Kylo was in love. If you could figure out what happened and learn more about his past, maybe you could get him opened up enough to realize that he can’t put his sons through the same things he must’ve gone through to become the way he was now. They deserved better and you knew, deep down, he must’ve known that as well.   
You saw glimpses of the good in him and you knew he cared about his sons more than anything. You just had to get him to open his eyes more. 

After how angry you had just seen Kylo, you knew you couldn’t just walk up to him and start asking him about his past. Even when he wasn’t angry, he didn’t seem like the type to let people get past the walls he had put up. No. You had to talk to someone who knew Kylo for a long enough period of time. There was Vicrul but if you went to him, Kylo would probably know instantly due to that pesky Force bond they shared. 

You continued walking the rest of your way to the home and opened the door to see just the person who could possibly give you the information you wanted. 

Mrs. Baize.


	11. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the dark display of Kylo Ren’s violence in front of his kids, you seek to find answers about his past. What happened to Rey and will finding out the answer to that question help you get Kylo’s walls down?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:   
> Talks of death  
> Violence   
> Semi Graphic violence

Mrs. Baize was in the kitchen putting away some produce as you walked in.   
“Good morning, dear. Where are the boys?”  
You sighed and sunk down on a stool at the kitchen island.   
“They’re with the Supreme asshole.”   
Mrs. Baize’s eyes widened before she broke down in a fit of giggles.   
“That’s not one I’ve heard before.”  
“Well the title fits him, especially today. He is on a whole new level.”

Mrs. Baize watched as you ran your hand through your hair and looked around deep in thought.   
“What happened? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”  
“No, no. Nothing like that. I just worry about what he is teaching the boys at such a young age. He had a freaking prisoner in the training room that he was interrogating in front of them. They were both so scared. I tried to say something but he just made me leave. I felt so bad leaving them behind. You should’ve seen their faces as I left.”

A tear you hadn’t noticed forming fell down your cheek and onto your arm.   
“Oh, dear. I am so sorry you had to witness that side of him. He must be in a real mood today.”  
“He is, and I don’t understand why. Yesterday he was so-“  
You looked up at Mrs. Baize realizing you didn’t know exactly how to describe your day/night with Kylo. She did give off the vibe that she knew something was up between the two of you but you didn’t know how much she knew or how she would react to too many details. You decided to keep it short and sweet.  
“Yesterday he was kind of…sweet. I thought we got somewhere. Like a wall he had up had at least come down a little. Now that wall is back up and higher than ever. I just don’t get why he has them in the first place.” 

“He has had walls in place ever since the moment I first met him. I think they’ve been there since he was a child. The only time I ever really saw them go down was when he brought his wife Rey home. After her death, well lets just say he was a mess and the walls became a fortress for him. A safe place. He locked himself away but he is a good man. A good father. I truly believe that.”

“Rey must have been something special to be able to have that effect on him. What was she like?”  
“Oh she was! She was wonderful. Very kind to everyone she met, unless they were an enemy to the First Order of course. She used to be a Jedi working for the resistance but she fell in love with Mr. Ren and joined him on his mission. Even though she embraced the darkness within her, she never let it fully consume her. With her in his life, it felt like Mr. Ren truly had balance. When she died, that balance was ripped away and the darkness took over for a good period of time. He was at his worst but after awhile, he found purpose in his sons and he was able to reign it back in at least some.”

“That’s so sad. It sounded like he was actually happy. What happened? How did Rey die?”  
Mrs. Baize looked around the room as if she was worried someone would overhear your conversation. She lowered her voice slightly and bent in closer to you.  
“We don’t ever talk about it. Many people don’t even know the full story. They just think she died while on a mission.”  
“Did she not?”“Well, she did but that’s not the whole story. The person that killed her…that’s the thing most don’t know.”  
Your eyebrows furrowed. “Was it Kylo?”  
“Oh stars, honey no! He would’ve never hurt her. She was his whole heart. No. It was-“ She lowered her voice down to a whisper and leaned in even closer.   
“It was Master Ren’s uncle, Luke Skywalker.”

“Luke Skywalker!”  
“Shhh. Be quiet. If Mr. Ren heard that name even uttered once…well, I’d hate to see that reaction. You must not speak of it. For your own safety. Any way, Mr. Ren had a very difficult relationship with his uncle well before that. Rey knew everything he had put him through as a child so she sought him out. He had been nearby. They think he was possibly planning an attack but nobody can be sure. She knew people would try to stop her if she told anyone especially because she was pregnant at the time, so she snuck out. Luckily, Mr. Ren sensed her leave through the Force and went after her. If he hadn’t, those boys wouldn’t be here today. He got there just in time to see Luke smite her down. He killed Luke and got Rey to the medbay. They couldn’t save her but they were able to save the twins and she was able to see them before slipping away.”

You couldn’t believe it. Everyone in the galaxy had heard the tales of Luke Skywalker. He was said to be a hero. The greatest Jedi to ever exist. You couldn’t even fathom that the man you had heard only amazing things about was the same to have killed Kylo’s wife. And he was his uncle? That was news to you. You had no idea they were related or even acquainted. Rumor had it that Luke had gone into exile and was never seen again. 

Your mind was spinning with so many questions. Too many. You didn’t know where to start.   
“But what-“ Before you could get the words out, you heard the front door open and the sound of sniffles coming from Sion and Corr. You got up from your seat and saw them heading directly to their room with their heads down and Vicrul standing my the door, helmet off looking at them with empathetic eyes. 

“I’m guessing the rest of ‘training’ didn’t go well?”  
Vicrul turned to look at you and shook his head. “Not at all. Luckily Ren let the boys leave before things really got gruesome.”  
“So you’re saying that wasn’t as gruesome as it was going to get?”  
“Definitely not.”  
You thought about asking for more details but your stomach twisted at the thought. It would be better for you not to know. 

“I should check on Corr and Sion. Thank you.”  
“Thank you? For what?”  
“For bringing them home and for being there for them. I can tell you mean a lot to them and them to you.”  
You smiled warmly at Vircul and placed a hand on his arm briefly before turning away and going to the boys’ room. 

Vicrul’s POV:

Vicrul smiled at himself and watched you walk away. People never really thanked him and people never saw him for being anything more than Master Ren’s attack dog. Even Rey had reacted to him as such. She never really got to know any of the knights. Her time was always spent with Master Ren which was never an issue for Vicrul. He was just happy that Master Ren had been happy at the time. 

Vicrul shook his head and pushed the thoughts aside. No use thinking about that and potentially pissing off Kylo any more than he already was. He made his way out the door and took his place as guard. 

Kylo Ren’s POV:

Kylo wiped the blood off of his knuckles. He had removed the gloves earlier when they became too slick with the prisoner’s blood. He has accomplished what he had set out to do. He always did. The prisoner’s story changed really quick as Kylo had him suspended in the air threatening to break his spine in half. Foolish man thought his life would be spared. No. Kylo was not in the headspace to let a thief off with their life intact. Not today. Kylo had already slipped enough and he wasn’t going to let it happen again. 

He turned toward where the prisoner sat on the floor in the corner, beaten to the point of being unrecognizable, breathing in and out heavily and walked menacingly toward him. He pulled out his lightsaber and ignited it. The crackling sound instantly making the man’s head snap up and his eyes go wide. 

“Please, no! I’ve done as you asked, Supreme Leader. I’ve told you everything I know. Please, spare me. Please I-“ 

Kylo lifted the saber above his head and brought it down on the man before he had to listen to anymore of his pathetic begging. The blade went down through his skull and almost severed his body fully in half. The stench of burning flesh filled the now quiet room. He put the lightsaber back in it’s holster and turned toward the knights.

“Go round up the other thieves and see to it that they don’t live to see another day. I expect a full report tonight. I’ll be in my office.”

Y/N’s POV:

You knocked lightly on the boys’ door and stuck your head in. Sion was laying face down on his bed and Corr was sitting at the foot of his staring into space.   
“Hey, you two. Mind if I come in?”  
Corr looked up at you and shifted over, giving you a spot to sit next to him. Sion got up and joined you both wordlessly.   
“How are you both feeling.”

Neither child spoke. Sion was still crying and Corr looked more serious than you had ever seen him. His mind was far off thinking about the weight of what had just been thrust upon him. He had always looked up to his father. He wanted to be just like him. He had never imagined that his father could ever be so cruel and scary.

You put your hands on both boys’ backs and rubbed gently.   
“It’s okay. You can tell me your feelings. This is a safe space and I am here for you.”Corr’s eyes snapped to yours. “You can’t always be there! You couldn’t be there today! What if dad tells you to leave us again? He made the other nannies leave. Will you be leaving us too?”

You could tell that even though Corr seemed angry, he was probably just really scared and overwhelmed. At five years old he should be worrying about what toy to play with next or about eating his vegetables. Not having to worry about people leaving him and him having to take on the duties of a feared Supreme Leader one day. 

You sat in silence for a moment. The only sound in the room was Sion sniffling. You needed to find the right words but this situation was so much bigger than you. You couldn’t just offer them taffy and have them snap out of it. 

“I am so sorry you both had to witness that. It was pretty scary, wasn’t it?”  
Sion wiped his nose on his sleeve and nodded while Corr still sat stoically.   
“I wish I could say that it will never happen again, but I can’t say that. I also wish I could say that I will never have to leave and will always be by your side but I can’t say that either. What I can say though is that I care about you both deeply and I will do everything in my power to protect you. Your father can be…tough, but I know he loves you more than anything in the galaxy.”

Corr looked up at you again. “But why does he want us to hurt people? I thought he only hurt the bad people outside of here when he had to so he could protect the First Order.”  
“I’m not sure, Corr, but I want to find out. I’ll talk to him. Maybe we can fix this.”  
“Really?” Hope sparked in his eyes and Sion perked up as well.   
“Really.”  
Both boys smiled up at you and you pulled them in for an embrace. 

You hoped that talking to Kylo would go well. He had warned you earlier to remember your place, but your place was to take care of the kids and that meant keeping them from not only physical harm, but mental harm as well. You were well aware that you could lose your job and possibly even your life depending on Kylo’s mood, but after talking to Mrs. Baize earlier, you felt like you understood him a little more and that could be useful.

Now you just had to find the strength to do it.


	12. Zilturik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares plague you about your past. How will Kylo react when he learns about your demons and will he share some of his own?

Kylo had been in his office all day. You kept walking past the door hoping to talk to him about the events that occurred during training, but every time you got close to knocking, you lost your nerve. Kylo wasn’t the easiest person to talk to during normal circumstances but what you had witnessed from him earlier made the idea of talking to him sound absolutely terrifying. 

You sat in the living room lost in thought as the boys played a board game after dinner. It was nearing their bedtime and you wondered if Kylo was still planning on putting them to bed or if you should just do it yourself. He was always very adamant about the bedtime routine as long as he was home but he hadn’t even come out of his office for dinner so you thought maybe he was too busy. 

“Okay you two. I think it’s about time to get ready for bed.”  
“But what about Dad?” Sion looked toward the hallway where the office door was still closed.  
“I don’t think-“  
Before you could finish your sentence, the door swung open and Kylo walked into the living room. 

“You don’t think what, Miss Y/N?”  
“Oh. I just wasn’t sure if you were busy and couldn’t lay them down tonight.”  
Kylo sighed and rolled his eyes. “Go get in your pajamas Corr and Sion. I’ll be in there in a minute.”  
Kylo looked very tired but he did seem much calmer than he was that morning. 

Once the boys were out of the room, Kylo sat in the seat next to you.   
“Why have you been pacing outside of my office door all day? It was very distracting.”  
You chewed on your bottom lip anxiously. Even though you had been thinking about talking to him all day, you didn’t feel prepared in the moment.   
“I, uh…I’m sorry for distracting you.”  
“Since when have you ever been sorry for that, Princess?”

Princess? How the heck was this man the same man that had basically threatened your life that same day? You couldn’t keep up with his mood swings. 

“Well, I just wanted to talk to you.”  
“Hm, about what?”  
“About…about this morning. The training incident.”  
Kylo sighed and ran his hand through his messy hair. “I thought we already talked about that. What more is there to discuss?” He didn’t seem angry, just kind of frustrated that you were bringing it up again. 

“The boys were pretty down afterwards. I think it really scared them. I know that you just want to protect them, but I was thinking maybe it was just a little bit too much.” You inwardly prepared yourself for his reaction but when you looked into his eyes, you could see he wasn’t about to unleash his wrath on you. He actually seemed to be taking your words in. 

“You’re right.”  
Your jaw dropped. You didn’t know exactly what you had expected him to say but you definitely hadn’t anticipated him agreeing with you especially not that quickly. Not after how he had reacted when you dared to say something earlier.   
“I am?”  
“Yes. I took out my own issues on them. I shouldn’t have done that.”  
You could almost visibly see his walls coming down. Mrs. Baize was right. When it came down to it, Kylo Ren was a good and caring father. The fact that he could admit his faults proved that. 

“Why were you upset this morning? Was it something I did last night?”  
Kylo turned toward you quickly. “No, you didn’t do anything. I-“

“Dad! We are ready!” Corr stuck his head out from around the corner fully dressed in his pajamas waiting for his father.   
“Okay, I’m coming. We can talk later.” Kylo stood up and made his way to the hallway.  
You sighed. You had hoped you could continue this before he inevitably put his walls back up but you understood.   
“Okay. Good night.” 

——-

That night, you found it very difficult to sleep. Flashes of the man bound to the chair and his blood falling to the floor haunted your thoughts. You knew why you couldn’t get it out of your head and the reality was becoming more and more difficult to shove down. Just as Kylo had done, you had built up your own walls. You hid behind this new life you had built and chose not to ever let it affect you again but your dreams had other plans. 

In your dream:  
You were back outside of Zilturik’s home on Ryloth, with your mother. You looked over at her face and could see the desperation etched onto it. She was in withdrawal and was desperate for it to stop. You knew about her addiction. It consumed her and consumed your home. You couldn’t remember the last time she wasn’t strung out on something. She did anything to continue fueling her addiction, but you had never thought she would do this. 

She knocked on the door and Zilturik answered almost instantly. He was a terrible sight. A short and stumpy Twi’lek with oily looking pale pink skin. You could smell alcohol on his breath as soon as he spoke.  
“Ah, I had a feeling you would change your mind, Arimara.”  
He looked over at you with his read eyes and smiled showing off his discolored, sharp teeth.   
“And you must be my new little worker.”  
“What? Mother? What is he talking about.”

Your mother didn’t even look at you as you spoke to her. Her eyes stayed on Zilturik.   
“Yes. I need the money. I can’t go on like this.”  
Zilturik moved in closer and circled you appraising you like you were some animal he was purchasing.   
“Yes. Yes, she will do very nicely. How old is she again?”  
“She is 17. 18 in a week. So do we have a deal or not?”  
“Mother?” Tears were beginning to flow down your cheeks as the situation became more clear. “Mother? Please don’t do this. Please.”  
She finally met your eyes. “I have too. You’ll have a good life here, I’m sure of it. I’ll visit.”

The greasy Twi’lek went into his home and came back out with a coin bag.   
“Here. It is what we agreed upon with a little extra. Pleasure doing business with you, Arimara.”   
Without even giving you another moment to speak to your mother, Zilturik grabbed onto your arm roughly and pulled you inside. 

“No! No! Mother! Mother, please! No!” You screamed but nobody around even looked in your direction.   
“Hush, girl. You are mine now and I will force you to be quiet if I must.” The back of his free hand hit you sharply against your cheekbone and you could feel the skin cut open where his gaudy ring made contact. Blood dripped down and you watched as it fell to the floor, stunned, scared and at a loss. This was going to be your life now.

You woke up and sat up quickly gasping for air, and dripping with sweat. You could practically feel Zilturik’s hands on you. Tears had already formed in your eyes when you were asleep and now they were flowing freely. The dream had felt too realistic. You had tried to suppress the memories so much but now here they were. You should’ve known you couldn’t escape them for long. Running away from Ryloth and starting over by working for the First Order wouldn’t be enough to forget years of pain and torture. Nothing would be enough. 

You let your face fall into your hands as you sobbed for what felt like hours. Memories replayed themselves over and over again in your head. That day in your dream had been the last day you had seen your mother. She never came back for you. She sold you and that was that. You were unwanted and unloved even by your own mother. The feeling still broke your heart to this day. 

After awhile, the tears stopped coming and exhaustion was beginning to take over but was overshadowed by how thirsty you were. Your throat was dry and scratchy from the sobs. You stood up, wiped your face on your sleeve and headed out your door and to the kitchen. 

Kylo’s POV:

Kylo was having trouble sleeping that night as well but it was being made more difficult from the emotions radiating from your room . At first he thought you were still upset about that morning but when he looked in further, he was able to see into your dream. The images were causing you great pain and he could see why. He felt your emotions as you woke up abruptly and could see how the memories continued to circle around in your mind. A few memories that weren’t in the dream popped into your head. Memories such as sleeping on the hard, damp floor with another girl nearby. You were both crying and you were comforting her. Another memory of Zilturik throwing a bowl at you of food that you had prepared him as he screamed at you for making it wrong. Kylo couldn’t take anymore. His blood boiled seeing how that piece of shit treated you. 

After a few minutes, the emotion coming from your room wasn’t as strong. He could feel your exhaustion and figured you’d be going to sleep but then he heard your door open. He felt a need to check up on you so he got out of bed and went to his door. 

Y/N’ POV:

You stood in the dark kitchen numbly holding a glass of water. You brought the glass to your lips and tried to focus on the cool feeling of it going down your throat, relieving you of at least one negative sensation. You didn’t even notice Kylo enter the room until you heard him clear his throat. 

“Can’t sleep?”  
You turned in his direction. “No. Did I wake you?”  
“No, you didn’t. I couldn’t sleep myself. Long, stressful day.”  
“Yeah. You can say that again.”

Kylo walked closer to you.   
“I couldn’t help but notice you had a bad dream.”  
Your eyes widened. “How-“  
“Your emotions were very strong. I couldn’t help it.”  
You frowned at him and slammed your glass down on the counter. “Stay out of my fucking head! You had no right!”  
Kylo didn’t flinch. He could understand your anger. He felt it too especially given his own dark past. 

You lowered your voice slightly, not wanting to wake the kids.   
“It’s not fair. You and the knights can just poke around in my head all you want and see all of my most guarded secrets and yet I’m still over here trying to figure out who the fuck you are. You are one way one minute and the next you are completely different. Why are you the way you are? You know what my walls are protecting. What are you’re protecting?”

“That’s not how things work, Princess.”  
“Ugh! Don’t ‘princess’ me.” You rolled your eyes and moved past him to head to your room. Of course he wasn’t going to open up to you even after forcefully seeing you open. 

“Stop.”  
You swung around to meet Kylo’s eyes wanting to tell him off but the look on his face took you aback and what he said next almost knocked you off of your feet.  
“What is it that you want to know about me?”


	13. Naked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Kylo open up to you about his past and how we he handle knowing about yours?

“What is it that you want to know about me?”

You couldn’t believe the words coming out of Kylo’s mouth. Was he actually willing to open up to you? You took a moment to decide what you wanted to ask. So many questions swirled through your mind. You didn’t know how deep you could go without him closing off to you again so you decided to start with something more simple. Or so you thought it was simple. 

“Tell me about your childhood. What were you like before becoming the infamous Kylo Ren?”   
Kylo stiffened at your question. “Why would you want to know about that?”

You made your way closer to him. “Well, a person’s childhood can greatly impact who they are as adults. You got to see a glimpse at the end of my childhood. I just thought it would only be fair to get a glimpse into yours.” 

Kylo took a deep breath. “There’s not much to tell.”  
“There has to be something. Maybe a fond memory with your parents?”  
“My parents? I don’t discuss my parents. They mean nothing to me as I did to them.”  
“I can understand that.”  
“Can you?”  
“Well, yeah. My own mom sold me for drug money and never came back. I thought that maybe it was a mistake. Maybe she would come to her senses and come back for me but with every day, week, month and year that passed, I knew I had to face the fact that she wasn’t coming back. That she didn’t care about me. I don’t know if she ever did.”

You both stood in silence for a moment. Memories that you both tried so hard to push down were resurfacing. Kylo looked at you as you looked down at your feet. He could feel your sadness and your pain as you thought back to those days with Zilturik. He wanted to pull you out of your thoughts even if it meant worsening his own pain. He didn’t understand why he felt that way but he decided to just embrace it. 

“My parents abandoned me as well. They feared me. Feared my powers. They didn’t know how to handle me so they just dropped me off with my uncle and never came back. They said that I would be better off with him. That he could train me in the force and make me into a great Jedi like he was.” Kylo took a deep breath before continuing. “Well, he did train me and other young Jedi’s as well but he too began to fear me. One night he…he came into my room while I was asleep. I opened my eyes and saw him standing above me, lightsaber drawn and ready to strike me. He was going to kill me. He was looking down at me with hatred and fear in his eyes as if he was looking down at a monster, not his nephew. Not the young boy he was in charge of training and raising.”

“That’s terrible. What did you do?”  
“I did what I had to. I only wish I had killed him then but I was weak. I didn’t make that mistake twice.” He cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders. “That’s enough of that. I don’t dwell on the past and neither should you. You should get some sleep.”  
You sighed, a little disappointed but you had gotten him to open up more than he had before and that would just have to do for now.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes I have to jolt them back open again. Too many memories flashing behind them.”   
Kylo looked around anxiously. “Would it help if you…if you slept with me? You know, just so you’re not alone.”  
You couldn’t help the small smile that formed on your face. Kylo was offering you comfort and he looked so nervous doing it. It was kind of cute even though ‘cute’ was never a word you had thought to describe Kylo before. Sexy, scary, complicated and exciting were words you thought of most often when you thought of him. Cute and comforting Kylo was a pleasant surprise. 

“Sure. I think that may help. Are you sure?”  
“Yes. Come.” Kylo turned on his heel and began walking to his room. Butterflies fluttered around in your stomach as you thought about sleeping in the same bed as Kylo again. After everything you and Kylo discussed tonight, you knew it was different. The difference was almost palpable in the air. 

You had to speed walk in order to even come close to keeping up with Kylo’s long strides but you made it to his room and glanced over at the disheveled bed he must’ve been laying in mere minutes before. You looked over at the door that lead to the room where you typically spent time with him and started heading in that direction. 

“No. We will sleep in here tonight.” Kylo sat on his bed and patted the spot next to him. “Come here. This bed is much more comfortable.”  
There he was thinking about your comfort again. You could get used to this. 

You walked over to the bed and sat next to him. You turned slightly so you were facing him so close that your knee made contact with his.   
“Thank you for this. I already feel a bit better. This way I don’t have to be alone with my thoughts at least.”  
People didn’t really ever thank Kylo. He didn’t know exactly how to respond so he just nodded in response. 

Kylo’s eyes were searching your face, taking in all of your features and emotions. They stopped on your lips briefly before looking back into your eyes. You couldn’t help but mimic him as you looked at him. He was so handsome and so close that your body felt magnetized to his. You leaned in without thinking about it and brushed your lips against his. You looked up into his eyes to see if he was okay with it or not but they were closed and before you knew it, he was kissing you deeply. 

His hand snaked around to the back of your neck as he deepened the kiss further. The kiss didn’t feel lustful. Instead it felt more passionate as if you were melting into each other and ridding each other of anything other than being in that moment. 

He leaned you back so that you were in a laying position on the bed only breaking the kiss to look into your eyes again.   
“You’re so beautiful.” His thumb rubbed along your jawline and your breath hitched at the compliment. He was being so genuine and sweet that it almost made you cry.   
“So are you.”   
He smiled at you and leaned in to return to your lips. All he wanted in that moment was to make you feel good but really you were making him feel something he hadn’t felt in years. He didn’t want to focus on that thought just yet. He didn’t want to admit to himself that his walls were coming down whenever you were around. No. Tonight was about helping you. 

The passion was overwhelming. You wanted to be even closer to him than you were now. You wanted to feel his skin on yours. You reached your hands down and pulled his shirt up and over his head.   
“I need you.”  
“Okay, Princess.” He quickly pulled your own shirt above your head and pulled your shorts down leaving you in your bra and panties. He began kissing down your neck making a trail down your chest, across your torso and he stopped at the top of your panties before kissing your mound through them. 

You let out a desperate moan craving more of him and he looked up at you with a sly grin. “Oh, am I not moving fast enough for you?” Before you could answer he had pulled your panties down and spread your legs apart so he could have access to begin hungrily lapping at your cunt. Your back arched as his tongue met your clit. Any negative thoughts from earlier were long gone. All you could focus on was the way he was devouring you. 

He kissed gently at your entrance before plunging two of his large fingers inside of you quickly finding your g-spot and using the force on your clit. Your jaw dropped open and your loud moans filled the room.   
“Ah! Fuck! Yes! Yes! Yes!”  
Kylo watched you intently as your orgasm washed over you. He was in awe by how you looked as you came on his fingers. 

Once you had fully rode out your orgasm, Kylo took his fingers out of you and brought them to his mouth where he sucked them clean. He stood up and removed his black pajama pants along with his boxers and he made his way back over to you kissing you deeply once more. 

His cock pressed at your entrance and you pushed your body into it allowing him to enter you slowly. He pushed the rest of the way in and you both stared into each other’s eyes as he began pumping in and out of you. Something about the way he was looking at you made your heart swell. He wasn’t just fucking you. This was more than that. You two had seen each other naked multiple times but this was the most naked you two had ever been. The most vulnerable. In that moment, there were no walls. You both let them down and it was such an incredible feeling, one that neither of you thought you’d ever feel. 

Kylo kept the pace slow for several moments. You both moaned and rocked together as you took in the sheer feeling of being connected in the way that you were, both physically and emotionally. 

It wasn’t until you could feel another orgasm building up that he increased his speed. He rammed even deeper inside of you by lifting your hips up so he could get a slightly different angle. His head shot back as he felt his own orgasm coming as well. “Oh, fuck.” He growled. “You feel so good. So good just for me.”

His words pushed you over the edge and he followed right behind you filling you up with his cum as you pulsated around him squeezing out every drop he gave you.

Kylo pulled out and moved to your side. You both laid there lost in the cloud of bliss and newfound emotions. Neither of you said a word because neither of you knew what to say. 

A few minutes went by and Kylo stood up and made his way to the bathroom where he got a wet wash cloth that he used to gently wipe you clean. When he was finished, he threw the washcloth into a hamper and rejoined you back in bed. He scooped your naked body into his so that he was spooning you comfortably and he kissed the top of your head. You smiled widely. This was the most calm and relaxed you had felt in years and you could sense he probably felt the same. 

Kylo smiled to himself as he felt your happiness wash over him. He had accomplished what he had set out to do and it felt better than any successful mission he had accomplished as the Supreme Leader. He didn’t know why your happiness made him feel this way but he felt like now that he had felt it, he didn’t want to hold back from feeling it anymore. He’d deal with the conflicts within his mind as they came if it meant going to sleep feeling like this every night. 

“Thank you.” He hadn’t said those words in the same way he hadn’t heard them in what felt like forever but you didn’t hear them. Sleep had come and the nightmares were gone. You were asleep in his arms without a care in the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how do we feel about soft/ sweet Kylo? I think we all needed it after the last few chapters.


End file.
